Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Get Out Mailbag: Deluxe June Edition

Dear Get Out,
I enjoyed your last article on the Rustlers Roost, a place my wife and I visit for a quiet breakfast when for some miracle the kids are not around. I also enjoy the ambience of the Roost where a fella can feel he has found the real, old west as soon as the door shuts out the outside reality.

Another hole-in-the-wall place, with such similar sensations as soon as you enter, is just around the corner on Hayden Ave. I know you don't write about places like this, but for a personal experience that you will surly enjoy, try Papa's Barber just down the street from the now defunct Rock Joint. Same side of the road and just past Reed St. It is in a building with a few other local businesses and marked with a small sign and the standard red and blue barber pole.

One step inside and you begin to understand that things run on a different plane than the outside world. Real country music greets your ears, most of which I don't care for but in the surrounding setting is perfectly delightful! Plush couches await you if the barber chairs are occupied. On the coffee table are Old West magazines that should be kept in plastic and sold at a high price on E-Bay, but instead are scattered about for all to enjoy. I curse the fact that I have been recently ushered into the chair immediately and was not given the time to read any high stakes outlaw adventures.

Once in the chair another dilemma arises. You have to hold still and there is so much unique decor to look at. In fact, a person might think they were in a room somewhere in the back of the Rustler's Roost. The haircut itself is usually done by Becky, or her sister and is a very precise work of art. My style is a very short military cut. They use mostly clippers and a comb with such detail it looks like they used a level to acquire the lines when finished. At the end is my favorite part of the visit. Following warm foam around your ears and neck, a straight razor touches up the precision. Then a good old handful of Old Spice like alcohol is applied. It's scent swirls around you mixing with the music and takes you to a place where you are glad you were born a male. I am usually left with strange sensations, like the need to put on my old pair of cowboy boots or smoke a cigar.

Before you leave the chair a old fashion hand vibrator is produced and is run across your shoulders, neck and head leaving you so relaxed you want to crawl over to the couch and take a quick nap. Bring cash as they don't take plastic. The last time I was in there I forgot they didn't take a card and had no cash. "No problem." "Get it to me when you can", I was told. I went straight to my banks ATM after and brought back a twenty. Not to many places like this anymore.

Shawn Bennett.

Dear Shawn,
Your letter was great, strangely erotic even like a cross between the Rathdrum Star and Penthouse Forum. Sounds like you had quite an experience with Becky and her sister, what parts of the story are you leaving out, eh? Just kidding. Actually, I'm tired of buzzing my own skull and I don't always do the most even job so it might behoove me to pop in and check it out, even though country music makes me squirm and the smell of Old Spice makes me gag. Maybe they've got something a bit more my taste, like a nice warm vanilla. Anyway, I think the place you're taking about is called "Papa's Barber Shop" at 868 W. Hayden Ave. Question: Is Papa himself aware of all the naughty, steamy shaving and trimming antics that take place under his roof?

Dear Get Out,
We just wanted to thank you for your wonderful review of our little Deli. Bob has been in the food business since his teen years but always as the food and beverage director for large hotels. "Herbie's" is his dream come true as now he can use all of his creativity while developing the soups, salads, salad dressings and sandwiches. You must try one of his 3 kinds of Foccacia bread. on your next visit! "Herbie's" is actually named after my late father who coined the phrase "MIghty Salubrious"after having a delicious meal prepared by Bob.

We will look forward to seeing you again soon and oh, by the way, Rebecca, our server is getting a raise!!

Bob and Melanie Black
Herbie's Deli Shop

Dear Bob and Melanie,
I must say it makes me feel pretty good to know I was partly responsible for Rebecca's raise. Certainly, she is worth it - her service was remarkable. In addition to the column, I've told a ton of people about your place and I'm surprised how many folks had driven by a million times but never stopped in. Although some might bemoan the fact I've given away the secret about their favorite little unknown deli and now I've ruined it by sending newbies onto their territory. Forget it, Herbie's deserves to be huge and at the top of everyone's radar. Amazingly affordable for such incredible home-made fare.

Dear Get Out,
Regarding your review of Chinese Gardens in the Handle Extra, is that the funny looking green house with the dragon by the mailbox? Sort of where you'd turn to go to Costco? What are the prices like?
Thanks, Laurie in Hayden

Dear Laurie,
Not to be overly catty, but I'm sure you've heard of Google. Use it. Or maybe you're the catty one, pointing out how my editors always choose not to publish the address of places in my reviews. If that's the case, I agree - I always include the address when I submit them. Anyway, I think the green dragon house you speak of is actually the residence of a small tribe of Oompa-loompas. Also, Chinese Gardens' prices are fair, but I still feel the portions are only adequate for the money - I always like to walk out with a to-go box and at CG, I never do.
Actual prices can be found on the VERY COOL Chinese Gardens website.

Dear Get Out,
This is (Restaurant X Owner), the owner of (Restaurant X). I know I am a little biased but I must tell you that I believe the Iron Horse is the WORST restaurant I have ever been to. For some reason my memory didn't kick in and I went there on Saturday at 10:00 am for breakfast. I was the only one in the place. That tells you something right there. I was greeted by an unfriendly hostess with the message to sit any where I wanted. The server proceeded to come up to my table and stand there with pad in hand and say nothing. Just looked at me. I ordered and he brought the food and set down the ticket, never to be seen again. The food was awful. I wouldn't feed my dog that crap. I read that (the Iron Horse) sent you a nasty e-mail (regarding a recent Get Out column.) My message to them would be the truth hurts. If they didn't have the building free and clear and be pouring a ton of booze to the 20 some year old crowd, they would not make it.

At (Restaurant X) we are far from perfect. We make mistakes. But we try to learn from them and get better. If a customer tells me they have a bad experience, I try to do what I can to correct it. Because in they end, customers are the ones paying the bills. They are the boss and I try to never forget that.

Take Care,
(Restaurant X Owner)

Dear (Restaurant X Owner)
I didn't want to include your name because it's not relevant, but your point speaks for itself. I've been to your place many times and each time was memorable and spectacular. I've been to Iron Horse to eat once in the same time period and had such a bad experience I vowed to never return. They've told me not to mention their name in the future, so of course I'm going to pop in some random day and time with a completely open mind and give them the Get Out treatment here (blog only). Who knows, could turn out to be a fabulous experience...

Dear Get Out,
New bar, "Oddballz!" Grand opening was last weekend with live music on Fri and we had Jello wrestling on Sat. Upcoming this weekend:

Friday: Mystery out dart tournament (blind draw) followed by DJ music.

Saturday: Live Rock N Roll with Run A Muck!!!

Check us out,
Dear Oddballz,
Does the live Rock-n-Roll band run a muck in the Jello too? Doesn't that get kind of slippery? What about electrocution, or does that explain the hair? How do you wash green Jello stains out of fried bleach blonde hair and Camaro seats? Oxyclean?

1 comment:

Dog Guy said...

The most orgasmic experience one can have and still have it considered a legal act in the state of Idaho is the hedonistic consumption of a genuine Chicago Dog.

I don't remember the name of the place, but it is located about midway between Paddy's and Lowes on Appleway, same side of the street. It is a drive through coffee stand, brownish in color. You should see a banner advertising, "Viena Beef" hot dogs.

Do yourself a favor, don't drive through. To truly experience a great dog, you have to park your vehicle and order from the window. Step two is to rest your soda on your trunk lid and then consume your Chicago Dog in large, glutenous bites, standing upright in the sunlight. Even better is to have a vehicle with a tailgate and sit there with your legs dangling over and trying not to let any of the "must have" nuclear green relish dribble onto your feet.

Make sure to order the Chicago Dog all-the-way. You won't regret it!

Here is a link to what a Chicago Dog is all about:

(Bonus - they serve some obscure brand of chips from Oregon(?). They are the bomb too!)