Saturday, December 6, 2008

Milltown Grill

Milltown Grill
306 Spokane St.,
Post Falls.

Spam, Spam , Schnitzel, Marmalade, Spam, B.B.I.T and Spam.

“I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay/I sleep all night and I work all day” sang the Merry Lumberjack to his Mounties in the classic Monty Python comedy sketch.“I cut down trees, I eat my lunch/I go to the lavatory/On Wednesdays I go shoppin'/And have buttered scones for tea.” The menu at the Milltown Grill in Post Falls features that song’s distant, long-lost cousin, entitled “The Lumberjack’s Prayer”. In this version, instead of ending up in women’s clothing and hanging around in bars, our lumberjack eats everything in sight until he finally cries “With alum bread and pressed beef butts/Dear Lord! You damn near ruined my guts/Your whitewash milk and Oleorine/I wish to Christ I’d never seen.” Penned about a hundred years ago, it was a career highlight for humorist and labor activist T-Bone Slim, who according to the menu tragically “went wino after the Wobble movement busted up.”

In fact, The Milltown Grill is ripe with history. The walls display a Museum-worthy collection of interesting local artifacts and ephemera including town founder Frederick Post’s birth certificate, marriage license, and WalMart receipts. They’ve even got a copy of the transfer of the ownership of the land itself from Chief Joseph who traded it to Mr. Post for some French toast and a hot fluffy omelet.

A Sunday morning flavored late-fall fog hovered over the dense forests of West Riverview Drive as Q, and I wound our way into Post Falls via the scenic back way. Sometimes I like to keep our breakfast destination a secret until we get there. “Where are we going, anyway? You know I’m scared of Post Falls.” He glared at me. I did know this actually, and I’ve never been able to quite figure out this particularly odd quirk of his. “It’s okay,” I offered. “I won’t let mean old Post Falls getcha. We’ll just zoom in, eat, and zoom out again.” “I’m totally too hungry right now to care anyway” he growled, ignoring my sarcasm.”Are we almost there?”

Pulling into the Milltown Grill lot, the first thing we spotted was a sign touting the lofty acronym “B.B.I.T. Best Breakfast in Town.” Settling down near the door at the one empty table in the small, busy place, we discussed how we would have no choice but to take this B.B.I.T. business as a serious challenge; Frankly, the two of us have really been around the block a few times when it comes to local breakfast joints and to lay a claim to the title of THE best is rather boastful. Actually, “in town” would refer specifically to Post Falls, which narrowed down the competition quite a bit, since neither of us could really recall having breakfast anywhere else within those city limits recently enough to count. Ultimately, the Milltown Grill had us. They would have to be B.B.I.T. automatically by default.

“Observe me on my bended legs/I’m askin’ you for ham and eggs/And of the hottest custard pies/I like, Dear Lord, the largest size” continues “The Lumberjack’s Prayer”. Turns out that B.B.I.T. is an actual menu item, a mega-scramble of sorts with eggs, onion, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, ham, bacon, sausage, hashbrowns and covered in shredded cheddar cheese. I wanted to give it a whirl, but I was more enthralled with the idea of the “Schnitzel Breakfast” so I made Q. order the B.B.I.T. so I could just steal a few bites of his. Seems like their Steak and Eggs must rock as well, since all four folks who were seated across from us requested an order without even bothering with menus., They also feature a bunch of dishes with names that reflect Post Falls’ industrious past like the “Logroller Omelets”, the blueberry or buckwheat “Timberjack Pancakes”, and the “Traumatic Head Injury Oatmeal” with fresh berries.

Lunch options provoke the warm fuzzies with comfort classics like hot turkey and beef sandwiches with mashed potatoes and gravy and “Log Jam Soup”, a homemade vegetable variety presumably named to once again highlight the town’s heritage and not to highlight the soup’s digestive effects. A few token salads cater to the pursed lip crowd and their snotty trip about “healthy vegetables”, leaving the calorie-rich burgers and fries and deep fried halibut to work their deadly, delicious magic on everyone else’s arteries. A note on the menu claims “If you don’t see what you want, ask and we’ll make it.” I thought about coming up with something outrageous just to be sassy. “Um, I don’t see it on the menu but I’d like the Lobster Thermidor Aux Crevettes and a Poached Ostrich Egg sprinkled with White New Zealand Truffles and Spam.” I resisted the urge; our waitress was far too friendly and focused on her work to purposely confuse.

Weiner Schnitzel usually consists of a thin piece of veal or pork, but here the Schnitzel is a white chicken breast flattened out to a ¼ inch thick pulp, then breaded and cooked like a Chicken Fried Steak, resulting in a Chicken Fried Chicken. Mine was truly tender and flavorful, made even more so by the splash of zesty country gravy. I usually pick disinterestedly at hash browns, but these were texturally light and just the right amount of crisp. I made them a short-lived task, along with a perfectly flat, folded yellow square of scrambled eggs and a super-fine stack of burly hotcakes. No complaints at all from me. Q. also couldn’t find any real reason to challenge his B.B.I.T. Mostly, he raved about his Rye Swirl toast with orange marmalade, a substance which he astoundingly claimed to have never before tasted. We waddled out convinced that even if we had a bunch of other Post Falls breakfast experiences under our belts to compare it to, the Milltown Grill would still rise to the top of our bottle of Aunt Jemima.


Kendra said...

My Aunt Debbie was probably your waitress! So I'm sure you got absolutely sublime service as well as the BBIT....
Odd, I seem to come from a family of waitressing aunts... The Golden Dragon- another awesome joint you have yet to critique, is manned (ladied?) by my Aunt Marcie, a practical fixture in the place, since she has been their numero uno since they opened. In fact, I'm amazed she doesn't speak Chinese by now.
People actually joke that the reason our toddler babbles away in his own little language (toddler-ese, we like to refer to it as) is because I ate there so much when I was pregnant with him, and now still take him there frequently (he prefers the egg flower soup).

OrangeTV said...

Discussion From Huckleberries Online
Question: How do you order your eggs when you go out for breakfast? Sunny-side up? Over easy? Hard-boiled? Scrambled? Soft-boiled? Other?
Posted by DFO | 6 Dec 12:12 AM

There are 20 comments on this post. (XML Subscribe to comments on this post)

I have only ever been out for breakfast once in me life, and that was when me and me lads was visiting maties in Wistconsin about 3 years ago...... many maties had driven to Reedsburg to come visit me/me maties so it was decided we all go out for breakfast...... which to me was such a strange concept LOL.... about 14 of us in the end....... they all had huge breakfast, one even with a little steak on the plate.... me, I asked for toast and marmite... LOL but had to settle for egg on toast..... although it was novel to go out for breakfast, I dont know if I could do it all the time.... unless that thought is in me head cos I picked up the bill for 'everyone' so me egg on toast cost me a pretty packet LOL....

ok, time to have me mug of tea and me toastymarmite :) whilst you lot are still in the land of nod...

sweet dream LOL

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 12:31 AM

Marmie, do you purchase your marmite or do you make your own?
Posted by FlorineD | 6 Dec 10:54 AM

I like my eggs "over easy" and don't mind them being a bit snotty. Breakfast is my favorite meal and Hunter's makes it just right.
Posted by Frum Helen Back | 6 Dec 11:08 AM

FlorineD......... I buy it in big jars...... its made from the waste of beer making, so Im not sure its something that can be made at home......

Trust me with your address and I'll send you a sample :) - A marmite loving doodle is hard to find :)

I did a blob about marmite not to long ago and ran a freebie thingie.... it explains all about marmite :0)

There ya go FlorineD - go av a butchers at it..

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 11:10 AM

In the past I ordered my eggs like FHB, but now that she has referred to them as "snotty", I don't think I can eat them like that anymore.
Posted by ThomG | 6 Dec 11:13 AM

Helen, I have no idea what 'over easy' is LOL....

but I like mine, if on toast to be barely cooked and all runny and soggy so they soak into the toast and make it all soggy to :)

Or if Im having boiled eggs and soldiers then I like them with a firm white and a runny yoke, just right for dipping soldiers in..... dam, now I want soft runny boiled eggs and soldiers to dunk in....

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 11:14 AM

Is marmite the same thing as vegimite? If so, I had it once while on a 3 day sailboat trip off the coast of Australia(touring the Whitsundays) and it was disgusting. I know the Aussies love it on toast, but I'll stick to butter and jam please.

As far as the question, if I'm not having an omelet I'll have my eggs sunny-side up on toast.
Posted by idawa | 6 Dec 11:14 AM

OTV, a bit more trivia about the Milltown Grill. It's owned by longtime restaurateur Bob Templin, run by his son-in-law. Many of the menu items are familiar to those who are old enough to have been to Templin's when it was located at Independence Point in Coeur d'Alene and later at Templin's Resort. The schnitzel is one of the longstanding items as is the BBIT. Bob had "the best breakfast in town" on the menu at the old TJs Pantry in Post Falls that he owned with Jerry Jaeger in the 1980s.
Another off the beaten path breakfast is at American Legion Post 143 in Post Falls. Every Sunday morning from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. they serve breakfast for just $5. Eggs cooked to order and all you can eat bacon, link sausage, hash browns, biscuits, gravy, french toast and pancakes.
Posted by KT | 6 Dec 11:19 AM

WOW! I've never even heard of Marmite until today.I guess it's used as a spread, but it doesn't look very appealing, as I seen a picture of this paste.I wonder if DIDO ever ate it.

I wonder if it tastes good?
Posted by Kage Mann | 6 Dec 11:30 AM

IDAWA no No NO..... vegimite is what they scrape off ones shoes :)..... it is nuffin like the delious taste of marmite

The best breakfast is 2 slices of thick toast with marmite spread on with half a tin of baked beans tipped over the toast then a couple of barely dry fried runny eggs.....

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 11:32 AM

Marmite, does tea taste all right with that breakfast? Or should I go to Starbuck's and grab a peppermint carmel latte to go with my marmite, baked beans, and egg spread and spilled on toast?
Posted by raymond pert | 6 Dec 11:38 AM

Idawa, you got it. But remember, marmite's slogan is "love it or hate it" so it's definitely a toss up.

Knowing that slogan, I've been iffy on trying it.

However, nutella is delicious (and completely different)
Posted by Sam | 6 Dec 12:11 PM

A year or so ago, I live blogged my first Marmite experience. I enjoyed it a lot, thank goodness -- especially on (what we call) English muffin, toasted, with tea and milk.

I like it with peanut butter, too.

Many interesting and stimulating tastes.
Posted by raymond pert | 6 Dec 12:37 PM

Marmie, what a kind offer. I was away from the blog for a bit and actually looked up a site where I ordered a jar of the real stuff online, yellow lid and all. Thanks for the offer, though. I'll look forward to taste testing. I've had food that had brewer's yeast (much the darling of some health-concious folk, apparently), but I'm sure that's not the same.

Posted by FlorineD | 6 Dec 1:15 PM

MrP, I remember you doing that :)....... Twas when I first became a fan of yours and first found your blob....

Im the only one out of the many many people that I know here in this village that likes marmite LOL...... Im forever sending jars to Toady LOL... and he has even experienced the limited editions jars of marmite with guiness bought our in honour of St Patricks day and the marmite with champagne bought out for valentines day....

And Sam is correct, ya either love it or hate it, that is their advertising slogan... load up me link above for my marmite blob on the stuff....

MrP you are most correct also, marmite on toast and spread with thick crunchy peanut butter, well, its to die for :) - and builders tea is acceptable with marmitetoasty both of which I have almost EVERY morning for my breakfast :)...

FlorineD I couldnt live without marmite in me life LOL... glad you found a jar, and I honestly would of send ya a jar only for the asking in the hope to find another marmite lover :)

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 1:24 PM

But Marmie, aren't soldiers rather heavy to pick up and dip???
Posted by Don Sausser | 6 Dec 1:54 PM

Don *stern look* dont make me come over there LOL

The bog standard soldiers are easy to pick up its those daft buggers with the red uniforms and them huge bearskin busby hats that I have difficulty with dunking LOL

Soldiers ya daft bugger is when you get a slice of toast and cut it in half long ways and then cut each half in half long ways, making long think dunkable size strips... which we have always called 'soldiers' :) - as the above link will show ya..

Posted by marmitetoasty | 6 Dec 3:38 PM

oh! i figured 'soldiers' for sausage links! toad, there is marmite available at the local 'world market' up on francis. though i'm sures marms is better, this is all imported stuff and might be worth trying... i haven't gotten the courage yet. but they have so much cool imported food! my daughter and i would happily live on the curries. also a damn fine selection of beers and wines. y'know, to wash down the marmite....
Posted by glynis | 7 Dec 3:02 PM

(((Glynis))) oh hush your mouth on the 'wash down the marmite' LOL.... we have curry at least once a week in this house... homemade of course.... but sometimes me lads will buy one on a Friday night from the proper curry house take-away, with all the trimmings.......

Dam, now Im gonna have to make a curry for tea tonight..... like I aint got enough todo today ;)

Posted by marmitetoasty | 8 Dec 12:02 AM

In the dinosaur days' I worked at the old Templin's at the Holiday Inn. First thing I thought of when I read BBIT was the "Best Breakfast In Town If You're Adventurous".

Now I know why. LOL

Posted by Lynne | 8 Dec 9:01 AM