Hot Halloween Happenings

Athol
Pastime Club, Highway 54, 683-2345 - karaoke 8:30-close, costume contest with cash prizes.


Bonners Ferry
AJ's Lanes, 6696 Main St., 946-9076 - First Annual Bowl-A-Rama, 10am to 4pm. Everyone is invited to field a team of four bowlers to participate or simply come by yourself. Sign up and get your pledge cards at Second Chance Thrift Store.

Nazarene Church, 158 Meadow Creek Rd., Harvest Party from 6-8pm. In addition to the candy, games, and a bounce house, there will be a chili cook-off. 267-4061

Coeur d'Alene

315 Martinis & Tapas, 315 Wallace Ave., 929-1379. Live jazz with Barry Aiken , 7:30 p.m.

Baja Bargarita, 115 N. Second St., 667-7676. Halloween Costume Contest - Grand Prize $500. "Live" zombies. $2 shots of Jose Cuervo, $1 Corona Minis. DJ Brentano, 9 p.m.

Brix Underground, 317 E. Sherman Ave., 665-7407. DJ Tony, 9 p.m.

Chillers, 1920 E. Sherman Ave., 667-1896. Halloween party & costume contest. Live rock music with Well Hung, 8:45 p.m.

Christ the King Lutheran Church, 1700 Pennsylvania Ave. - "Wakin' Up Dead" Fundraiser for Hospice of Idaho. Moving examination of life and death through story, song and drama by Northwest artists including four-time cancer survivor Pamela Faye Houston and former Spokane news anchor Pamela Stark. Children are invited to come in costume and participate in stories, games, treats, crafts and song. Free children for age three and younger. 6:30 p.m.

Crickets Steakhouse, 424 Sherman Ave. Coeur d’Alene, 765-1990. Live blues music with Laffin’ Bones – 8 p.m.

Downtown Cd'A's Mudgy and Millie Halloween Family Walk - Family exercise program follows the 2.4 mile Mudgy & Millie trail through downtown Coeur d'Alene. When: 9 a.m. Location: meet at the Mudgy statue at the base of Tubbs Hill near the Third St. parking lot in downtown Coeur d'Alene. Cost: Free. More information: 769-2315

"Dracula" at Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave, 667-1323. October 29-November 8, 7:30 PM Thursday - Saturday, 2:00 PM Sunday Matinees.

Elks Club, 1170 W. Prairie Ave., Coeur d’Alene, 772-4049. Costume party. Live R&B music with Nightshift, 7 p.m.

Halloween Lake Cruise - Friday, October 30th. Cruise in the crisp autumn evening air in the resort's Halloween Lake Cruise. Tickets include two drinks, live DJ entertainment and dancing, costume contest with prizes from The Resort Golf Course and The Spa. Tickets - $19.75 per person (must be 21 yrs. of age or older) Boarding at 6:30 PM, Cruise from 7:00 - 9:00 PM

Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4056 N. Government Way - "The Curse of Pirates Island: A Haunted Adventure" Featuring frights, costume contest, pumpkin carving, food, beverage, music, entertainment and free parking. Cost: $8/general, $6/age 12 and younger; tickets available at the gate only, not at fairgrounds office.Wednesdays-Thursdays and Sundays, 6-10 p.m.; Fridays and Saturdays, 6-11 p.m., Oct. 22-31.

Mik-n-Mac’s Lounge, 406 N. Fourth St., Coeur d’Alene, 667-4858. Halloween Costume Contest, Grand Prize $400. DJ Kenya (House/Hip-Hop) – 9 p.m.

Nighthawk Lounge, Coeur d’Alene Casino, Highway 95 South, Worley, (800) 523-2464. The Perones (Classic Rock) – 8 p.m.,

Salvation Army Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Road: "Treasure Island" Watch Christian Youth Theater-North Idaho's production based on the adventure novel by Robert Louis Stevenson. Shows Oct. 30 and Nov. 6 at 7 p.m.; Oct. 31 and Nov. 7 at 3 and 7 p.m.; and Nov. 1 and 8 at 3 p.m. Cost: Advance: $9/adults, $8/children; $10 at the door More information: 277-5727

Sherman Avenue - Goblins and Ghouls can Trick or Treat the Downtown Merchants on Sherman Avenue 4-6pm. Coeur d'Alene Downtown Association 667-5986.

Shore Lounge, Coeur d'Alene Resort, 2nd & Front,765-4000. Nate Ostrander & Chronic Blue (Rock/Blues) – 9 p.m.,

Silverwood Theme Park, 27843 N. Highway 95 - "Scarywood" Haunted Nights. The theme park will transform every Saturday from Oct. 3-Nov. 1 beginning at 6:30 p.m. consisting of two chilling attractions. Thunder Canyon raft ride will become Terror Canyon Walking Trail complete with a maze, fog and graveyards where sasquatch, zombies, werewolves and vampires. And Steam Engine No. 7 train will become the MidFRIGHT Express a three-mile long train ride of terror with explosions, flying ghosts and ghouls, crazy miners and more! Cost: $28, includes rides. More information: 683-3400.

The Grail, 4720 W. Seltice Way, 665-5882. Costume party and live hard rock music with Lack Of Change, Heratik and Grounded – 8 p.m.

Torch Lounge, 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave., Coeur D Alene, (208) 667-3132. DJ Matty-O/DJ Tripp Rogers (Hip-Hop/Top-40)

Unity Church of North Idaho, 4465 N. 15th St. - Halloween Happy House. For kids ages 1-10, includes, games, booths, haunted house, costume contest, crafts, and short performances. 5:30-8 p.m. . Cost: Free

Harrison

Carlin Bay Resort, 33917 S. Highway 97, 689-3295. Halloween bash. Live country music with Ryan Larsen Band - 8 p.m.

Haunted House at the Marler Brass building across from City Park. Oct. 30 and 31 from 6 to 9 p.m. at the $3 per person.

Hayden

The Beer Hunter, 9551 U.S. 95, 772-0453. Halloween Costume Party and drink specials. 9 p.m.

Kellogg

Silver Mountain Resort, 610 Bunker Ave. - Spook, splash and stay for Halloween at Silver Mountain this year! Come let the kids enjoy the trick or treat parade around the village, face painting, paper pumpkin decorating and lazy river pumpkin races...adults will love the live music and costume contest at Noah's Canteen.

Mullan

Mullan Library, 117 Hunter Ave., 744-1717 - Halloween Carnival.

Pinehurst

Pinehurst/Kingston Lions Club, 106 Church St., 682-4027 - Halloween Carnival.

Plummer

Bobbi's, 785 C St., 686-1677. DJ Scotty J presents karaoke.

Post Falls

Amaizing Corn Maze, Beck Road just off Highway 53. Over 12 acres of family fun with mazes. Food court and free parking. Fridays, 4-11 p.m., Saturdays, 10 a.m.-11 p.m., Sundays, noon-5 p.m. No pets, no purses or backpacks in maze, strollers and wheel chairs enter at own risk. Haunted Maze on Oct. 9-10, 6-11 p.m. Mega Haunted Maze: Oct. 23-24 and 30-31, 6-11 p.m.; and Oct. 27-29, 6-10 p.m. Cost: $8/adults, $5/seniors and children ages 5-12, free/age four and younger. Prices after 5 p.m. beginning Oct. 9 for Mega Haunted Maze: $10/adults, $7/seniors and children ages 5-12, free/age four and younger.

Big Al's Country Club, 6361 W. Seltice Way, 777-8312. Live rock and country with Four on the Floor – 8 p.m.

Bobs 21 Club, 212 E. Seltice Way, 773-4818, Halloween Monster Bash, 7 p.m.

Curley's, 26433 W. Highway 53, 773-5816. "Freakend Weekend" - Friday - couple and grpup costume contest. Saturday - individual costume contest. Cash prizes, drink specials. Live rock with Bad Monkey - 9 p.m.

Lions Club Haunted House, Conrer of 4th and Post, October 22-31 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.

Post Falls Senior Center, 1215 E. Third Ave., 773-9582. Senior Halloween Dance 7-9:30 p.m. Entertainment by The Redheads Plus. Cost: $3.50

Real Life Ministries, 1866 Cecil Road, Post Falls. Harvest Festival - Community outreach event on Halloween from 5-8 p.m. for kids through grade 5. 5 p.m.

Slab Inn, 800 W. Seltice Way, 773-5440. octume contest, prizes and games. Live country music with the Kelly Hughes Band – 9 p.m.

Priest Lake

Grandview Resort, 3492 Reeder Bay Rd., 773-9582. 8 p.m.

Rathdrum

One Eye’s, 7985 W. Main St., 687-1926. Live rock music with Simon Sez – 8:45 p.m.,

"Tunnel of Terror" Fridays-Saturdays, and 7-9 p.m. Sundays-Thursdays. Oct 23-31. Free kettle corn and hot cider upon completion. Location: 7980 W. Diagonal Road, Rathdrum. Cost: $3/ages 12 and older, $2/ages 6-12, free for ages younger than 6.

Sandpoint

Downtown Crossing, 206 N. First Ave., 265-5080. Live alternative rock with Tennis and Justin Lantrip – 8 p.m.

Evans Brothers Coffee Roasting Studio, 524 Church St., 29 Children’s Costume Party and Yappy Hour. hosts a Halloween Bash from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Events include Yappy Hour (finally an event where Spike is welcome!) - this is a great time for a great cause, benefitting the Panhandle Animal Shelter. Bring your dog in costume and have a professional picture taken. Also from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., there is a Children's Costume Party and Parade. Bring a pumpkin for the carving contest, plus have a professional photo help capture the moment. 208-304-8285

Haunted Attic at Schweitzer. Are you afraid of the dark? You should be, especially when you find yourself in the Haunted Attic at Schweitzer. This year's theme is Pitch Black, and it's sure to leave you screaming! In an instance, the multi-colored hues of the world disappear and are replaced with a terrifying void of black darker than the darkest of nights. The Attic opens each night in the Selkirk Lodge lobby at 6 p.m. and runs until 9 p.m. Tickets are $10 per person. Schweitzer.com. 208-255-3081

St. Maries

Halloween Carnival at Lakeside HS gym Oct. 29 at 5 p.m. Sponsored by LMS for all in the community.

Twin Lakes

Lightning Bar, Halloween Party, Costure Contest, "Full Moon" Karaoke, 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Spokane/Coeur d'Alene Living Magazine 2009 Readers Poll

In the new November issue of that glossy dentist office rag, Spokane/Coeur d'Alene Living Magazine, they reveal the results of their annual readers poll. To save you the effort of wading through all the Spokane stuff, I've distilled the North Idaho winners here, at least the food and nightlife entries.

Some winners are spot-on correct. Capone's really does have the best pizza and Toro Viejo indeed rises to the top of the Mexican bunch. Some entries, however, are a bit misled. Did most of the people who voted for this thing actually ever spend time at Beverly's, or were they voting based on it's supposedly "chi-chi" reputation. Best ambiance? Perhaps is you find the interior decorating style of 1992 especially intriguing. Dragon House for best Chinese? Gag me. Fisherman's Market for Best New Restaurant? I'm pretty sure it opened close to three years ago now. (I've been corrected, it's only two years. But still...)

Oh well, one should probably take these sort of reader's polls with a grain of sea salt anyway...

BEST FINE DINING: Beverly’s
MOST ROMANTIC: Beverly’s
BEST VIEW: Beverly’s
BEST WINE LIST: Beverly’s
BEST VIEW: Beverly’s
BEST AMBIANCE: Beverly’s

BEST VEGETARIAN: The White House
BEST ETHNIC - OTHER: The White House

BEST PIZZA: Capone’s Pub and Grill
BEST BEER MENU: Capone’s Pub and Grill

BEST HAPPY HOUR FOOD: Oval Office
BEST DESSERT: Dockside
BEST SEAFOOD: Red Lobster
BEST LATE NIGHT DINING: The Wine Cellar
BEST DINER: Down The Street
BEST BREAKFAST: Michael D’s Eatery
BEST CHEAP EATS: Chicken Basket
BEST STEAK: The Wolf Lodge Steakhouse
BEST HAMBURGER: Hudson’s Hamburgers
BEST SALAD: Cedars
BEST APPETIZERS: GW Hunter
BEST OUTDOOR DINING: Cedars
BEST COCKTAILS AND MARTINIS: Oval Office
BEST SUSHI: Takara Restaurant
BEST THAI: Thai Bamboo
BEST CHINESE: Dragon House
BEST JAPANESE: Takara
BEST ITALIAN: Angelo’s Ristorante
BEST MEXICAN: Toro Viejo
BEST COFFEE SHOP: City Perc Café
BEST BAKERY: Pastry and More
BEST NEW RESTAURANT: Fisherman’s Market and Grill
BEST BUFFET: Coeur d’Alene Casino
BEST DANCING: Ironhorse
BEST KARAOKE BAR: Paddy’s
BEST LOCAL THEATRE COMPANY: Coeur d’Alene Summer Theatre
BEST ACTRESS: Patti Duke

Lake City Playhouse presents “Dracula”

“Dracula”

Lake City Playhouse
1320 E. Garden Ave., CdA, (208) 667-1323

October 29 - November 8,
Thurs - Sat 7:30 p.m., Sun 2:00 p.m.

Goths everywhere may still argue whether Bela Lugosi is indeed dead, or possibly undead, but certainly the man who originally brought Count Dracula to theater audiences way back when will be there in spirit when the Lake City Playhouse stages “Dracula” starting October 29. Director Rebecca McNeill opens the new season at the much beloved Coeur d’Alene institution with a “dark, somewhat depressive, and certainly unsettling” adaptation of Bram Stoker’s classic novel, just in time for Halloween. However, this probably isn’t the sort of production you’d want to bring your adorable little bloodsuckers to see before trick or treating.

“I recommend the show for ages 14 and older, depending on the parents involved. It is scary, so don't bring kids who tend to get really bothered by scary movies. People are murdered on stage” warns McNeill. The script, penned in 1996 by American playwright Steven Deitz was chosen primarily because it stays faithful to the Stoker novel and avoids the campiness prevalent in many modern interpretations of the story.

Similarly, in a refreshing contrast to the cute, cuddly vampires currently absorbing pop culture with the “Twilight” series and such TV fluff as “The Vampire Diaries”, “Dracula’s” title character is a significantly grittier specimen. When McNeill was casting for the title role, she didn’t have a specific look or age in mind but needed someone who could exude the necessary “confidence, intelligence, charisma and sensuality” to convincingly portray the blood-thirsty thousand year-old Count.

She selected Dave Rideout for the role, who may not exactly have the adolescent appeal of Robert Pattinson, but for the director, that just adds to his engagingness. “Our Dracula is not a pretty-boy,” she explains “but more of a handsome gentleman. Women don't fall under his spell because of his looks, anyway - it's all about his ability to offer them what they desire and then exploit their guilt. Not that our Dracula isn't good looking - he's just way past frat boy days.”

I was able to attend a run through of the play recently, and the chaotic vibe in the air was typical of any community theater production in its incubation phase. But not even the less-than-shoestring budget and some surprise personal crises among the cast and crew could stop everyone involved from putting themselves fully into the task at hand. David Carey is particularly nerve-rattling as the asylum-bound lunatic Reinfield and Danielle Reyes’s transformation as Lucy from a sweet Snow White into a screeching demonic banshee had me clenching my toes in fright.

McNeill (pictured left) is no stranger to the hallowed halls of the Lake City Playhouse. “I grew up here, back when it was the Coeur d'Alene Community Theatre,” she explains. “My parents acted and directed and volunteered, so I spent many hours watching rehearsals, ushering during shows, and then being in shows as I got older. It was a fabulous childhood, and certainly never lacked for an imaginative environment.”

She was able to carry her passion for stagecraft to Seattle’s New City Theater for a year-long residency and has written and directed numerous local productions, including four plays at the Playhouse. She’s also working on carrying down the family tradition to the next generation. “As I've grown closer to 40 and had my own children, I've really come to love the community theater. There aren't many activities left that you can do for free just because you love them.”

As with any entity that relies on the community to survive in these rickety economic times, funds at the Playhouse can be scarce at best. Happily, cast and crew members were able to pitch in some cash to buy the special stage make up the play requires. Also, several local businesses were kind enough to contribute various goods and services, most entertainingly the five sets of personalized fangs provided by the magnanimous folks at Schini Family Dentistry.

Playhouse staff are also always extremely welcoming to any supportive bodies who can volunteer some time doing anything from building sets to cleaning toilets. Not only does the theater benefit but the experience can land you some new “BFF’s” as well. Says McNeill, “you’ll never meet a ‘family’ like the friends you will make at the Playhouse. And, of course, you can always give money - but it's so much more fun to come be a part of the action!” The director pauses and deadpans, “and then give us money....”

I had to ask her a silly question; if Count Dracula were to swoop into town all dressed to dine, drink and disco, where would she take him. “I think his cocktail of choice would be the ‘Scarlet Queen’ at the Wild Sage Bistro, and for dinner he might like some sushi from Syringa. Or perhaps a very rare steak. Or maybe that's just what I want right now. Hard to say.”

Opening & Closing Murmurings

Openings:

Santorini's Greek Cuisine
4055 N. Government Way, Coeur d'Alene
I love Olympia Greek Restaurant, but there's always room for another place to get Souvlaki and Baklava. These guys already have a restaurant in Spokane and I've hard rumblings that they're actually the old owners of Olympia. I hope they don't have too many hard feelings about the roommate/bad check incident I wrote about in my Olympia review.

The online user write-ups of the Spokane Santorini's are mixed. One person wrote "The food was okay, I have had better Greek food...the owners I found to be quite unpleasant. They must have used lettuce and turnip Greens instead of 100% Spinach, in other words it was horrible." And another BizFinder contributor wrote "Best Greek Food we have found in Spokane!" I called over there about 3 weeks ago to see when the Cd'A store was opening and was told "later this week" but I drove by last weekend and the doors were still closed.

Sherman Junction
819 E. Sherman Avenue, Coeur d'Alene
I read something ages ago in the CDA Press about how the owner of Down the Street had sold it and was opening a new place in the former Rustlers Roost/Apple Barrel/Sambos building downtown (most recently occupied by the mysterious Vacations Always Free travel agency scam). Ah, the excitement!

Having spent many years in my teens and 20's sitting there eating bisquits and gravy and drinking Pike Street tea over endless cigs and conversation, I was looking forward to returning to the old haunt. Then, every time I drove by there, I saw no action at all, leading me to believe that the whole thing had somehow fallen through. Then last week, my hopes were restored when I saw rows of booths and tables beginning to occupy the space. Hope they keep the food as stick-to-yer-ribs as it was at DTS...

Famous Willie's Barbeque
107 E. 7th St., Post Falls
According to a recent article in the CDA Press, owner Willie Spradley "moved to North Idaho from Texas about nine years ago for a more conservative lifestyle and cooler climate." More conservative than Texas? If you can swallow that bitter fruit, you'll probably be able to swallow Willie's slow-cooked barbecue specialties including beef brisket, pork spare ribs, pork shoulder roast, hickory-smoked sausage from Texas and chicken legs, drumsticks, wings and breasts. What, no Alligator?

Vito's That's Italian
1116 W. Ironwood Cd'A
This one has been open for a month or two. Their website describes it as a "little piece of Italy in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho". Two reasons why I already have a problem with them.

1) The owner of Vitos was the owner of the wonderful Sunshine Trader, which was at the same location and I'm so MAD they decided to change it because it was one of the best, most beloved lunch spots in town for years and it is so cold and cruel for them to take that away from us.

2) Seafood fettuccine is my favorite Italian dish and they don't even have it on their menu. Italian places don't seem to always have the best luck in this town so we shall see...

Donut House
1801 N. Lincoln Way, Coeur d’Alene
North Idaho is being taken over by doughnuts and who in their right mind would have a problem with that? There are already Donut Houses in on Kathleen in Cd'A and in Post Falls and Hayden. Which reminds me, the only time I visited the Hayden Donut House they didn't take debit cards and I was 37 cents short on cash. The woman (owner) was very nice and told me I could bring in the 37 cents later that day and I PROMISED her I would. Of course, I didn't. Now I feel guilty, but it obviously didn't hurt them too much if they're expanding their biz so rapidly. I WILL bring the 37 cents into the new location when it opens, I SWEAR. Opening date unknown.

Garlic Jim's
405 W.Neider Ave.,Coeur d'Alene
Now open. Clearly we really needed another Pizza franchise here, since all we had was 9 million of them already. Still, the menu is somewhat interesting with oddball toppins such as Roasted Corn, Black Beans, Coconut, Almond Slivers, Cashews, and Tortilla Strips. Why stop there? How about throwing on some watermelon pickle, some chunks of blue jello, or perhaps a nice Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam?

Mik-n-Mac's
408 N. Fourth St., Coeur d'Alene
Actually, this is a reopening. Readers probably know that this is a regular haunt of mine, and I'm glad it's back in action. Rita had sold the bar and had several teary-eyed closing parties, expecting to have the new owners sign the papers the next week. That didn't happen.

Fair enough, until the crooked prospective buyers delayed the closing of the deal about a half dozen more times, leaving Rita in a bad spot, losing money on a closed business. Finally a month and a half later, the deal dissolved and Rita decided the best idea was to do some renovations and remodeling. The place has a fresh look and a fresh attitude, and it is still Coeur d'Alene's oldest and best nightclub.

By the way, I'm not afraid to print the names of the a-holes who dicked my sweet Rita around, so if you know them and see them please kick them in the shins, hard. The culprits are Mickey Mouse and Santa Claus (everyone already knows who you are anyway), who owned some other local businesses and rumor has it that they ran them into oblivion and ended up owing their employees and distributors a ton of money. Basically, it seems like they're either scamsters or really bad at running businesses. Probably a bit of both.

1210 Tavern
1210 Sherman Ave., Coeur d'Alene
Another reopening, the 1210 rises phoenix-like from the ashes of the great fire of 2008 that destroyed the WarDen gaming place, a barber shop and the old 1210. The only thing that remained was the corpse of the old China Gate, which has been refurbished and reopened as the new 1210 Tavern. This was never one of my hangouts or anything, but I'm certain there are many locals glad to have it back in action.

Spar Martini Bar
209 N. First Ave., Sandpoint

Now open. Info from Sandpoint Online: "Located on the second floor of the Pastime Building above Oishii, Spar is Sandpoint's new nightlife hot spot. Live music is in the works with an opportunity to drink, dance and socialize in a unique atmosphere. Spar also offers a full menu and nightly drink specials."

41 South
Lakeshore Drive at the Long Bridge, Sagle
Now open. Info from Sandpoint Online: "A new operation in Sandpoint's best old location with Claudia Dick, owner of Trinity, at the helm, and Chef Jeremy cooking some of the best fare in Sandpoint, this is one of my two favorite restaurants in town. The menu is innovative and at the same time comfortable, the wine list is well-thought out and has at least two of my faves. What makes 41 South best though is the fabulous location, overlooking Lake Pend Oreille and the Long Bridge. Great Sunday brunch, nice outside seating to take in the views, and slips for up to twenty boats."

Closings:

King Pizza, Coeur d'Alene
Sad. This was where I had my second job ever, when I was 18, delivering pizzas. New owners took over earlier this year and ruined the 20 year establishment for good. RIP.

Wine Cellar, Coeur d'Alene
Sadder. Another longtme Cd'A tradition bites the dust over a bad business deal of some kind, apparently. Downtown will never be the same. RIP.

Sunshine Trader, Coeur d'Alene
Saddest. See above for the info about the new Italian place the owners decided to reinvent the Trader as. I will forever miss the Hobbit sandwhich, with turkey, sprouts, cream cheese, and cranberry sauce. Tried making it at home and it just doesn't turn out quite the same. I'd been eating them there since this place was in the tiny building that now houses the Parkside Bistro, many MANY moons ago. RIP.

Stage Right Cellars, Sandpoint
Only open for two years, this place was once a live music mecca for Sandpoint and although I never went, I hear it was classy and fun. They closed Sept. 11 and had a gigantic yard sale I wish I hadn't missed. RIP.

The “Original” Mongolian BBQ

The “Original” Mongolian BBQ
3213 N Government Way
Coeur d’Alene
(208) 664-8782

“Even foul water will quench fire.” - Mongolian proverb

The concept of the Mongolian BBQ is a bit of a fuzzy sham, albeit a delicious one. Turns out the basic idea actually originated in Taiwan within the last 30 or so years, and is far closer to Japanese-style “teppanyaki” cooking than the dried camel jerky and yak dumplings popular among the nomads of Mongolia.

The back story perpetuated by many of these types of eateries is that the soldiers of the ancient Mongol Empire went hunting for meat, overturned their massive shields above a bonfire and cooked dinner in them using their mighty swords to stir-fry whatever they could kill that day, presumably along with whatever vegetables happened to miraculously be in season during the continuous freezing cold weather. I do like the story, but in reality it’s not much more than a clever marketing device.

By no stretch of the imagination would anyone confuse the cooks at Coeur d’Alene’s “Original” Mongolian BBQ with the ancient soldiers of Mongolia, but what they do does require quite a bit of old-fashioned skill. It’s always fairly entertaining to watch them circulate around the cooking table, pushing the food to and fro and creating dramatic, sizzling storms of steam with squirts of water meant to keep things from sticking to the grill and becoming overcooked.

There have been a few times when I’ve seen these guys do some fantastic tricks with my future dinner, including cooking behind their backs and using their long stick-like utensils to swoop the finished meal up into the air and then catch the whole thing with one of the serving bowls without dropping so much as a broccoli crown on the floor.

It must take a lot of practice and a certain amount of talent to be able to fling unwieldy mounds of noodles, meat and veggies around with such effortless precision. I’m certain I’d have the fire department there in ten minutes after my attempts at culinary flamboyance resulted in flash fires and first-degree burns on my hands and face.

On my recent lunch stop into the restaurant, the men working the sizable round grills were comparatively mellow in their performance. It was a lazy Sunday early-afternoon and the crowd was nowhere near as hectic as I usually encounter. Scanning the other diners, I concluded that this must be where the attractive churchgoing hipster crowd of Coeur d’Alene decides to meet for their post-sermon lunches.

For those who aren’t familiar with the setup, you choose between three bowl sizes, big, bigger and biggest, then travel down a long buffet, filling your bowl with your own personalized selection of raw ingredients. The beef, pork, and chicken are sliced micro thin and kept frozen for more even cooking. When you reach the end of the line, you pour ladles full of different cooking sauces and oils atop your heaping mound and then the cook does his swift magic right in front you while you wait.

Usually I like to load up on the noodles but I decided to avoid them entirely as a precaution against wrecking my diet, leaving more room in my bowl for nutrient-rich veggies. As I went down the line, I selected broccoli, carrots, celery, red onions, pineapple chunks, mushrooms, baby corn, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots and, somewhat regrettably, a handful of very ripe jalapenos. I piled iced chicken shreds on top and poured on countless scoops of the Mongolian sauce, the Thai peanut sauce, the garlic sauce, finishing with a generous amount of the red hot oil.

What I ended up with was a hot mess, in the most appetizing way possible. I located the table where the hostess had dropped off my lemonade, unwrapped my chopsticks and let the steam and mouthwatering aroma waft into my face for a moment before digging in. Bam! I had bought myself a one way ticket on the express train to Extra Spicy Land. I’m usually able to tolerate the most wickedly peppery of foods, but apparently my sinuses didn’t get the memo that day. The combination of the plentiful jalapeno slices and the scoops of hot oil had teamed up to wreak havoc on my senses.

The hostess dropped by to ask how everything was and I grimaced and choked “just great, thanks” as tears poured down my face like I had just learned that “Ugly Betty” was cancelled. Mercifully, they do supply heat-absorbing sides of plain white rice for fools like me who end up in such a piquant situation.

Once I picked out the jalapenos, I was able to enjoy the flavors of the sauces and other ingredients and as I ate, the meal became increasingly palatable and satisfying. The fortune cookie the hostess brought with my bill was a nice final touch, and as I paid for my meal, I thanked them graciously for the kind service and the mind-bending, life-altering endorphin rush.

Thrifty Action: St. Vincent de Paul 10¢ Record Sale

I've been haunting the Cd'A St. Vinny's for so many years now and the clerks know me pretty well. Today, as soon as I walked in, one of them blabbed to me right away that for one day only, records were going for just one thin little Roosevelt dime each, so I made a beeline back to the record shelves and started excavating.

Worthwhile vinyl treasures are few and far between here (and every other thrift store these days) it seems, and I've quickly scanned their record selection multiple times but have never really given it the full-on combing through. When there's a 90% discount on the usual dollar price tag, my usual high level of vinyl selectiveness follows the fate of the 8-track tape out the window of the Ford Pinto of existence and I feel free to go bananas, as if it were somehow a reasonable idea to add to the piles and piles of records that are more likely to gather dust than to actually end up on the turntable. I can't help it, I guess.

It was kind of a challenge to sift through the usual craptastic Mantovanni and Manilow titles clogging the racks and find anything worth possessing, but by the time I was done getting dusty fingertips, I had exactly 20 album stacked under my arm. Here's the skinny:

1. Sammy Davis Jr.: Now
Featuring his quintessential Willy Wonka chestnut "The Candy Man" and a cover of Jimmy Webb's always awkward "MacArthur Park". The cover features a painfully orange colored penicil impression of the "greatest living entertainer in the world" and folds out to reveal a massive black and white photo montage of Sammy hobnobbing with every showbiz legend of the 60's and 70's. Carol Burnett. Frank Sinatra. Jerry Lewis. None of them look even remotely sober. Wall worthy for sure.

2. Tammy Wynette: D-I-V-O-R-C-E
3. Tammy Wynette: "Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad"
There was a whole stash of Tammy vinyl, but someone had found it necessary to repeatedly eternalize their initials on her face with a big black sharpie. What were people thinking way back in the day when thought it was cool to ruin their records that way? These were the sole crisp and clean survivors of the marker massacre.

4. "West Side Story" Original Soundtrack Recording
I'm hoping I don't already own a copy of this bright red perennial find. This copy is in near pristine condition. There's a place for us. Somewhere, there's a place for us.

5. Enoch Light and the Light Brigade Play Cha Cha's
I totally love to do the cha-cha but then, who doesn't these days, really? I seem to have an oddly significant amount of Enoch Light action going on in my collection because I usually pick up anything I can find on the semi-collectible and graphically delightful Command Records label, which seemed to exist solely to make full use and impact of then-revolutionary stereophonic sound. These albums are like weird and scientifically engineered artifacts from a future that never happened and always feature oblique technical data and lots of phrases like "Proud Command sound scientists have spent years doing painstaking research in all phases of the recording field". Let's hear ot for wow and flutter.

6. Neil Diamond: Gold
Wall to wall classics. This one looks to be an 80's era re-issue; it's in too perfect shape to be an original specimen. It'll come in handy for those pre-Karaoke night moments when I need to practice a few of Neil's early gems before unleashing them on an unsuspecting, but thankfully drunk audience.

7. Lionel Richie: Can't Slow Down
OK, I'll admit it. I love the hair. I love the hits. "All Night Long", "Penny Lover", "Stuck on You", "Love Will Find a Way", "Running with the Night", "Hello". They're all here in one breathtaking, sea foam green and lavender package. I honestly don't recall terribly in love with this album at the time but in retrospect, it was undeniably the poor man's "Thriller".

8. Carole King: Rhymes and Reasons
Honestly, I've only ever gotten as far "Tapestry" into Miss Carole's world, but it's an album I love like a comfortable old pair of macrame Jesus sandals. This album contained the #24 hit "Born to Canaan" and came out a year later, in 1972, which was also the year I was born. However, I think this record might actually be in better condition than me at this point.

9. Sesame Street: Aren't You Glad You're You?
This 1977 feel-good kiddie smash contains "Don't You Know You're Beautiful" by Bob & the Three Monsters and the bilingual "Me/Yo" by Maria and Gordon. Children's records like the Sesame Street series are usually pretty collectible and indeed, this was going for $15 when I looked it up on eBay.

10. The Carpenters: Carpenters
Their 3rd album and one of their biggest selling albums includes "Rainy Days and Mondays" and my all-time fave Carpenters tune "Superstar", which I've also taken on for Karaoke night as a warm-up tune and because it's actually Jerry the KJ's favorite song ever. Also priceless is the Burt Bacharach/Hal David Medley and the fancy schmancy fold out creamy tabbed sleeve that opens up to show Karen looking so obscenely fat she chose to hide behind her brother Richard for the photo.

11. Boston Symphony Orchestra/Erich Leinsdord: Rimsky-Korsakoff/Le Coq d'Or Suite
I don't usually rescue classical records from the mildewy cruelty of the bins, but this one has a neato red textured and gold leaf cover that I couldn't pass up for a dime.

12. Marlo Thomas and Friends: Free to be You and Me
I'm actually looking forward to putting this platter on because some of these tunes have been echoing through my head since 1975 and I need to get them out. Anyone who was in grade school the early to mid 70's was likely exposed repeatedly to this self-esteem boosting set of extremely catchy kids tunes sung by such gayriffic divas as Diana Ross, Carol Channing and Dick Cavett. Even includes a quote by woman-power heroine Gloria Steinem on the back of the sleeve.

13. Glen Campbell: Last Time I saw Her
Not necessarily a massive Country fan, but this one is still shrink-wrapped and will probably stay that way, although it is slightly tempting to crack it open just to hear Glen's take on "He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother)".

14. The Versatile Henry Mancini and his Orchestra
Henry looks disturbingly vampiric like Bela Lugosi on the cover of this one, especially with the yellowy full moon hovering in a hazy autumn sky over his left shoulder. This record is in such fantastic condition, it seems like it's been in a time capsule since 1954. A web search turned up similar copies going for as high as $50. Score!

15. Les Titres D'Or D'Edith Piaf
The French songbird's signature tunes and some absorbing portraits of Edith which reveal her to be an early innovator in thin, penciled chola-brow technology. Fabriqué au Canada.

16. Donovan's Greatest Hits
The cover is a bit scuffed up, making Mr. D look like he's come down with a severe case of Pityriasis Alba, but the inside images of the singer as a nude toddler and as an upside-down diver in obscenely tight swim trunks are quite intact. "Hurdy Gurdy Man" is an all-time favorite of mine.

17. Joan Rivers: What Becomes a Semi-Legend Most?
Before there was Kathy Griffin, there was Joan whoring herself in the comedy section of the K-Mart music department. The back cover photo featuring Ms. Rivers superimposed into an 80's era photo of the British royal family wearing a hot pink feathered ensemble and holding a blender is priceless. Long live Heidi Abromowitz!

18. Rogers and Hammerstein's Oklahoma Motion Picture Soundtrack
Oh, what a beautiful 1955 original copy!

19. Various Artists: K-Tel's Mindbender
20. Various Artists: K-Tel Presents 25 Polka Greats
It's probably one of the freakier obsessions one can have, but I've been collecting K-Tel collections on vinyl for many years. Seems like I've snatched up so many of these wildly diverse made-for-TV collections but I always manage to unearth as-yet-undiscovered titles. 1970's "Polka Greats" is one of their earliest releases and brings together polka royalty such as Frank Yankovic and Myron Floren. Even Lawrence Welk gets in on the action. Was Polka actually still a hot commodity in 1970? 1976's "Mindbender" has a cover design that could cause extreme migraine headaches and eye strain and includes me-decade essentials like War's "Low Rider", Abba's "SOS", Elton John's "Rocket Man" and Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing". Oddball obscurity: "Paloma Blanca" by the George Baker Selection".

Bakery by the Lake

Bakery by the Lake
314 N. 3rd St., Cd’A, (208) 209-3129
601 E. Front St. Suite 104, Cd’A (208) 415-0681

"Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up." ~ John C. Maxwell

Different varieties of bread have been a staple in the diet of virtually every culture since man first decided to smear lizard jelly across a chewy hunk of unleavened barley flat cake during the New Stone Age. Over the years, the act of mixing ground-up grains and water with whatever else is handy has resulted in countless varieties, from Persian lavashs and Ethiopian injera, to Mexican tortillas and North American johnnycakes. Egyptians were the first to add yeast into the mix and it has often been speculated that Cleopatra herself used to accompany her vessels of Star of Horus wine with mashed-up balls of Wonder Bread.

It was during the Middle Ages in Europe that the bakery as we know it today was established, a concept most fully embraced by the French, who to this day don’t blanche at the rather unappetizing act of toting fresh baguettes to and fro tucked under unwashed armpits. It is this style of boulangerie that most contemporary urban American bread makers model their shops after, including Coeur d’Alene’s own Bakery by the Lake.

I used to drop into their flagship operation on 3rd street occasionally during times of poverty, buying bags of their day-old but still delicious iced scones for only a few dollars. These were quite dense in composition and along with cheap 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor they kept me full and happy for an entire day. Well, maybe the malt liquor was the main reason for the happy part.

Obviously, back then, carbohydrate intake was no concern of mine. I’ve since given up the strong lager and am much more conscious about carbs, so I had some trepidation recently about checking out the new Bakery by the Lake store located on the main floor of the 20-story Parkside Tower building downtown.

For the most part, I was able to control myself. I came in to track down a spot of lunch and quickly located a deli cooler stocked with pre-prepared cold sandwiches, pasta salads, green salads and fresh fruit cups. I dug around in the pile of neatly-packaged sandwiches, selecting a nice roast beef and pepper jack cheese. I grabbed a container of the pasta salad and a bottle of flavored energy water and eased on over to the cash register.

I suppose twelve dollars isn’t a completely outrageous amount to spend on a quick lunch, but considering my overall satisfaction level, I felt it was a smidge on the steep side. Certainly the food was quite edible, but was about as interesting as watching a chess marathon on TV.

The roast beef was quality, the tomatoes tasted nice and bright and the lettuce leaves were fresh and crisp. The cheese was mild and performed its job just fine. However, the whole affair was dangerously close to something one might pick up at any grocery store deli zone.

Just like a pre-packaged Albertsons sandwich, it came with one lonely packet each of mayonnaise and mustard, and I’m big on condiments so I had to ask for several more. They ought to consider providing a better solution for in-store diners; squeezing the life out of those little buggers can be a messy hassle. The excellent multi-grain bread was the only touch of personality, and it really served to save the whole thing from being merely average. I would recommend using thicker bread slices; it barely held together in my hands and fell apart as I was eating.

Nothing could cure the pasta salad from inducing snores. The right ingredients were there: corkscrew pasta, broccoli crowns, carrot slices, red beans and garbanzos. However, the Italian dressing was bland and nearly non-existent. Obviously, the primary focus of Bakery by the Lake is creating all the wonderful baked goods, but if they’re going to delve into the lunch market, they ought to find a way to offer something with more jazz. I didn’t notice the sign on the wall behind the counter touting homemade soup and grilled Paninis until it was too late, but I suspect these are probably a bit more enthralling and I’m looking forward to sampling them on my next visit.

The staff at Bakery by the Lake was genuinely friendly and welcoming. Also delightful is their fantastic selection of guilt-inducing, calorie-rich items. There are scones, bagels, cinnamon rolls, pastries, muffins, croissants, and a variety of cakes along with a selection of fine artisan breads. After finishing my lunch, I opted to cheat on my diet with a big cowboy cookie and a rich Caffe Umbria mocha latte.

I tried to have dessert up on the building’s supposedly public third-floor deck, but when I got up there, the access door was locked. So I ate my cookie while sitting on the floor of the main lobby, ignoring the condo owners’ questioning looks and relishing all the calories and carbs in every last crumb.

Aimee Mann at the Kroc Center 10/10

"Hush, hush. Keep it down now. Voices carry." Those words have been echoing through my brain since 1985, and I like it that way. Til' Tuesday's "Voices Carry" was one of the biggest hit smasheroo songs of that year, and the video likely left a permanent impression on the psyche of anyone who saw it, with blond shock-haired lead singer Aimee Mann standing up and singing "He said, shut up! He said, shut up! Oh God, can't you keep it down...?" in a crowded theater as her verbally abusive lame-o of a boyfriend cowered in embarrassment.

It was a classic, and pretty much the band's only major hit, but Mann eventually went on to a critically successful, Grammy award winning solo career, leaving the neon, new wave memories of her former band in the dust. She brings herself and her current backing band to Coeur d'Alene's Kroc Center this Saturday, October 10, in support of her latest CD, the amusingly titled "@#%&*! Smilers" and not only is it fantastic that she's coming to town, but it bodes rather well for the future of national big-name live acts in North Idaho. Hopefully, whoever is in charge of booking the concerts at the Kroc will continue to bring us great entertainment opportunities.

Below are some links to help you familiarize yourself with Miss Mann, if you aren't already, as well as a few videos to get you in the mood. By snagging a ticket for this show, not only are you going to see a great performance by a true talent, but you're also telling the Kroc people that it's worth it for them to book those kind of gigs. Do it!

www.aimeemann.com
Aimee Mann Wikipedia entry
Aimee Mann's My Space
Aimee Mann at All Music Guide

Bad Online Local Restaurant Review Roundup

Generally speaking, I like to try and point out the positive aspects of a restaurant in my reviews if I can, and if the place is rotten enough, I won't even bother to do a write up. Customer review websites like Trip Advisor or Yelp are full of user-generated commentary about many of North Idaho's eating establishments, and people can be brutally honest in relating their bad experiences. Disgust, disappointment, diarrhea. You name it.

Some of these armchair reviewers rant for no good reason and some are completely spot-on but either way, I always enjoy reading the complaints of the "man on the street." Seems almost no local eateries are immune from persnicketyness. For your amusement, here are some random highlights I've come across.

Restaurateurs, take heed. The people have spoken.

By the way, just out of fairness, I'll reprint some of the best GOOD reviews in an upcoming post.

Angelo's Ristorante, Cd'A

"The decor can best be described as having been put together by a prison arts and crafts class having met a Jo-Anne's Fabric fire-sale. (Not the best layout for clausterphobes like me). Oh - and I've heard the same soundtrack now each time I've been there. It's Sinatra (odd), Italian opera (too heavy) - and whoever sings, "That's Amore" (a little cliche, no?)... Make a good place great - fire your decorator, find some merry Italian tunes to play - and let your restaurant be a blank canvas so your food is what leaves people talking..."
-Elite '09, Yelp

Azteca, Cd'A

"Worst enchiladas I have ever had (no flavor and on the cool side with unmelted cheese) and to top it off, when I mentioned it to the server, he said he would talk to the manager. Then, he came back with the check and no word about the enchiladas. When I inquired, he said that was how they were and blew it off. We did not leave a tip (for other reasons too like no drink service until we kept asking). Don't waste your time or money..."
-Kathleen S., Yelp

Bardenay, Cd'A

"The service is average to downright terrible. When you walk in, 90% of the time there's no one at the host/hostess stand, and twice we've even had to get up and get our own utensils wrapped in napkins. The place is notoriously understaffed or staffed with young kids that know not what they're doing. Forgive them Father. My last debacle was with a group of 8 martini fanatics. Each of us had like 3 drinks, and they're not cheap, so the bill was running probably $200 - $350. At 9:00 p.m. the waiter tells us he's going home and we now have to move from our table to the bar if we want service because no one will be doing table service from here on. We took this table because it's winter and we're in front f the fireplace. Are you kidding me!? The tab is still open, and this group is just getting warmed up. We ended up settling the bill and walking out, to another establishment that wanted to keep it's customers.
-Bordan B., Yelp

The Beacon, Cd'A

"The bartender is kind of standoffish, and he'll serve you some kind of blush if you don't specifically ask for red, and he doesn't pour Guinness properly. He probably can, he just doesn't do it for out of towners because he's kind of passive aggressive. He has to let you know where you stand somehow. I'm just speculating about this last part."
-matthew r., Yelp

Bonsai Bistro, Cd'A

"My husband ordered a Patron Silver Magarita and the waitress brought him a platinum then charging us $75.00 for the drink. Even after we asked them about it they refused to change the charge and I was embarassed as the bartender yelled obnoxiously over the dinner crowd about the situation. Loud enough for him to be heard from the bar all the way to our table on the upper level near the far window. Coming to find out he was the manager as well I wasn't likely to want to discuss it with someone who sounded like a drunk making idiot of himself. The food was basically an exact copy of PF Changs and it was a shorter drive than Spokane, however, after this experience the longer drive sounds lovely."
-Panda_200SX, TripAdvisor

"My girlfriend has Celiac Disease whiich means she is allergic to gluten. More and more restaraunts are catering to people with food allergies, The bonsai has a gluten free menu which was perfect since we were staying across the street. After ingesting half an order of GF lettuce wraps the waitress showed up and indicated we were given the wrong ones. Nice! Here's the capper... no manager ever showed up to apologize and all they offered was to take the lettuce wraps off the ticket. Yes my girlfriend got sick and yes you should avoid this place if you're gluten free, they don't really care."
-rdrr7, TripAdvisor

Brix, Cd'A

"Fancy interior with poorly designed lighting. I had a difficult time seeing my friend across the table! The service was lame. Two people at my table ordered soup. They ran out of soup, served one person at my table, but not the other. 15 minutes later she got the waiters attention, asked about her soup and he explained. Was he hoping she'd forget? The food was bar food dressed up - pretty, but still fried, fried, fried. I wouldn't recommend it."
-Scottie H., Yelp

Cafe Chulo, Cd'A

"I recently went to Cafe Chulo and Im guessing that Chulo in Spanish means crap because it was like eating crap. I mean no disrespect if Chulo is the owners last name but it was terrible. Obviously the Chef doesnt try his own recipe unless he or she likes eating crap. We didnt tick anyone off so we know that wasnt it. I would recommend Cafe Chulo to anywho who like to eat crap. I know its Idaho and good Mexican is scarce (not really), but they could at least try."
-Joe, Yahoo! Local

Canton, Cd'A

"We had the lunch specials ($6) and they were cheap but abominable. This definitely takes the cake for the worst chinese food I have ever eaten. Chow mein = pieces of little long crackers. Pork fried rice = rice sprinkled with bacon bits. Lo mein = tasteless noodles with soy sauce. Almond chicken or lemon chicken = questionable meat heavily breaded with a 1/3 inch of crust. But perhaps I have different tastes than most. I will admit, that the waitress was very nice. So I feel bad about writing this honest review."
-MH, Yelp

Casa de Oro, Cd'A

"Went to this restaurant for the first time with my wife and two year old son. We asked for guacamole and after we were half we threw it I realized I was chewing on a staple and a small piece of paper. After informing the waiter, he told me that the paper was from the package they use to make the guacamole, as if it may have happened before. I am not sure if they also often have staples in there food? It was fortunate it was not my two year old son who was chewing on it! My wife and I were turned off our food after this, yet what we did eat was still not particularly good. We would recommend you do not visit this restaurant, especially if you have children!"
-disappointed d, Insider Pages

Cedars Floating Restaurant, Cd'A

"The menu items were mostly $25+ and there wasn't much on the menu at all. Definitely no variety. The menus them selves were flimsy printed paper menus which had no aesthetic value at all and napkin coasters seemed to be the method for the drinks. The parking isn't all that great for the amount of patrons that visit the place and the road to get there might as well be a bombing range for what its worth. The road is frost heaved, lumpy and pot holed all the way down and has 2 speed bumps. Be sure to drive slow. I found the day I went to make the reservations that on a windy day the cross winds that blow over the gantry leading from the parking lot down to the restaurant can certainly knock u down if you are not careful."
-nomad7742, TripAdvisor

"Didn't even make it to the actual meal!!! Planned to eat at the Cedars with the family, but left immediately following the appetizers. Not only did we have two bugs in the drinks we ordered, but the waiter was not apologetic and did not even mention he would provide a drink on the house. Rather it appeared as if the occurrence was quite common. Furthermore, our shifty waiter had no idea what anything on the menu was, could not tell us how often they got their fish or when the last delivery had arrived. Upon checking, he provided an unconvincing explanation that the fish had just arrived. Our appetizers were bland and had clearly been frozen. Drinks from the bar were absolutely pathetic, especially given the prices. All in all, an unclean place with a shifty and disinterested waitstaff and sub-par food. Better bet to go into town somewhere. If this place has been in business for 30 years, they have clearly had the chance to get it right, but have failed miserably"
-bigtimer78, TripAdvisor

Chef in the Forest, Hauser

"None of our food was very good. The potatoes and the smoked trout were bland and 2 of the 4 steaks we got were so tough and full of gristle that we sent one of them back. What was amazing was that the manager argued with us and ended up making my guests feel bad about it. I wouldn't pay McDonald's prices for this food, though McDonald's food does taste better."
-dane lowry, Google Reviews

Dockside, Cd'A

"This is probably one of my least favorite places to eat in Coeur d'Alene. The first time I went here they burned my entire families food I was very unimpressed. I decided to give the place a second shot much to my demise. My friends and I stopped by for lunch only to have one of the worst dinning experiences of my life. The waiter put us in the far back of tthe room even though there were plenty of tables open. This table was so horrible! I mean the window behind me had duck tape around the the frame to close a gap in the window. This is at the Resort which is suppose to be high end, suppose. The waiter was quite the snob to me and being one myself we ended up silently fighting each other. Then my food again was terrible. Plus the whole place is ugly, it's so unpleasant to look at. The patterns the colors everything is wrong."
-Logan-Ayers, TripAdvisor

"Had to request the server to wash off the sticky residue around the table...she said the staff cleans everything once a week. Once a week? How can a "World Class Establishment" only clean their dining room once a week??? Especially as the restaurants looks out over the lake & marina with huge windows letting in the sunlight! Then there was the shrimp cocktail...tiny, mushy, (maybe canned)room temperature shrimps piled on cocktail sauce & lettuce with here and there pockets of horseradish all served in a metal cup shaped like a martini glass. No silverware to eat this glop so we had to use our regular forks and put it on to our bread plates...what a terrible presentation! This type of shrimp is usually only used for a Shrimp Louie salad. This was followed by a Cashew Chicken Salad with very few cashews and the most awful, sour, dressing. Even the chicken tasted like canned, processed in water, fibrous cubes. What's so difficult about roasting a real chicken and cubing the meat for a salad at a supposedly "5 Star" Resort? The other person ordered the Firecracker Shrimp in Vodka Sauce, he managed to eat about a third of this but was up all night with an upset stomach. This wonderful repast cost only $65.00..."
-Sam2u, TripAdvisor

Fisherman's Market & Grill, Cd'A

"The owners and staff need a refresher course in customer service. First, serve people in the order they arrive. That means that a sushi order sitting there for 10 minutes already takes precedence over an order from someone who just sat down. Second, if you failed at number one, and the customer complains, don't make it worse by getting a snotty attitude. Instead, just apologize and make it right. DON'T lecture the patron about sushi requiring "patience."
-L, Google Reviews

Fleur de Sel, Post Falls

"What a huge disappointment. The "pro shop" decor left a lot to be desired but the hostess was awful. Contrary to urban myth most waiters / waitresses in Paris and the French countryside are friendly. This woman lives the myth that you need to be extremely rude."
-toodw, UrbanSpoon

G.W. Hunters, Post Falls

"Walking in G. W. Hunters reminded us of the Ace Ventura movie where Jim Carey looks around and says "What a lovely room of death." My wife, was visibly taken aback at these 'trophies' on the wall and while I would not decorate a restaurant with them they did not really bother me...I tried the elk burger since our friends highly recommended it. Elk like buffalo are both lean meats and should be cooked slowly so as to not dry them out. This was not the case it was grilled over high heat and ended up dry, chewy and tasteless."
-Steven T., Yelp

Hudson's Hamburgers, Cd'A

"Avoid this place if you don't want to get sick.... First time in look for the pan of raw burger meat on the counter and cheese and raw veggies right next to it. I worked in Coeur d' Alene for a number of years and never saw them wash their hands or refrigerate the meat. High prices for a simple burger without fries. Don't even think of asking for a shake."
-boyerbl, TripAdvisor

"What a disappointment. After hearing for years, "You HAVE to have a Huddy burger!" I couldn't wait. My wife and I entered the crowded closet of a place, and finally found adjacent stools. When we were seated, we watched as the cook pressed out paper-thin burger patties and served them up Belushi-style (NO COKE! PEPSI!) Our burgers were thrown in front of us unceremoniously, as we were asked, "Drink?" with the air of, "Time's wasting, tell me what you want, quick." To drive this point home, people behind us were impatiently lined up, shifting their weight from one foot to the other, so they could have their shot at the trough. Certainly it would all be worth it when the wonder-burger hit our lips...Nah. Plain old paper-thin burger in an assembly line atmosphere."
-justagoodmeal, TripAdvisor

Iron Horse, Cd'A

"On our way in, the door was blocked with people putting up holiday decorations. When we were seated there were 3 boys from about 10 to 14 yo shouting accross the room to one another about the decoration project. Then a woman started sweeping the carpet (with a straw broom not a sweeper), kicking up dust close to us and other patrons. That was enough for me but my wife, the forgiving soul, was hungry so we stayed. Synopsis: hair in salad; late, almost cold food; at times perfunctory service; no offer of consideration. When I pointed out the reason for zero tip to the cashier I got this vacuous, so why tell me look."
-Anonymous, TripAdvisor

"Stopped in on our trip from Missoula to Spokane last week (after reading about how great the crab cakes were on this board). Bartender/waiter was wearing big old baggy shorts with his underwear hanging out. Fly was half unzipped. Grungy shoes with no socks. Carried his order book down the back of his pants. Blech. Bathroom was disgusting. Doors don't latch and half falling off. Toilets didn't flush (finally, after the third try, which explains why the toilets in the other four stalls weren't "clean").We had one drink. No way I'd eat there. Can't imagine what the kitchen looks like. *shudders*"
-Karol 221, Virtual Tourist

"We sat down to order and there was only ONE waitress on staff running between the bar and the cafe. She took our oder and it took 50 minutes for it to get to us! Which is ridiculous and we were trying to entertain our two children this entire time. When our food came out it was COLD! The plates were warm, but the food was COLD and the kid's fries were solid as rocks. It is obvious that they now are catering more towards the bar aspect of the business, and leaving the cafe in the rust. Our bill was $42 and we got CRAP in return! We will NOT be going back!"
-Beezer, Judy's Book

Japan House, Cd'A

"I am a sushi lover. Japan house has the worst sushi I've ever encountered. The rice was dry & undercooked, the seaweed wrapped around the rolls was chewy, and it was $8 for an order of tempura green beans. Their idea of an "order" is TWO BEANS!!! I live around the corner and was soooo happy to have sushi coming in within walking distance of my house. I'd rather walk across the street to the MouseTrap and have deep-fried mushrooms."
-dbarrelracer, TripAdvisor

Las Palmitas, Cd'A

"My family ate here on vacation and the food was OK but the service was terrible. Very unfriendly servers and when I asked for plates for the chips - they handed me the plates to pass around the table! Strange!"
-Deb, Urbanspoon

Oishii Sushi, Sandpoint

"The wait staff was dressed in red dress shirts, black slacks and black fedora hats, OK got the gangster theme. I went to the bathroom, because I figured that the theme would be carried throughout the entire place, I was wrong. The men's bathroom was a boring tan with a sink and toilet, not even a gangster toilet (whatever that could be). Now that the style was all taken in, lets get to the food. Unfortunately, the only thing more bland than the bathroom was the sushi."
-Jason S., Yelp

Panhandler Pies, Sandpoint

"I was surprised when people in our party wanted to order pies, they were out of almost all that were ordered. Is this not called Panhandler PIES?? The pieces that they did have came out so tiny and very sad looking. My three year old makes a better looking pie! "
-Elite '09, Yelp

Perkins, Cd'A

"I took my wife out for what was suppose to be a nice dinner on her birthday. We had to wait almost 40 min for our food to get to the table. when it got there my cod and shrimp dinner had one small cod fillet and six small shrimp and cost more than 10.00. When I said something to the cashier all she said "I guess next time you should go some place else" . I would not recomend this place to anyone ."
-randyluthi, InsiderPages

Rancho Viejo, Post Falls,
"I ordered a margarita and they gave me a much more expensive one. When I asked about it, they said they don't offer the one I wanted even though it was on the menu! Also, my pregnant wife ordered a virgin margarita and they put alcohol in it, and claimed the mistake was OURS! No apology or anything. We're never going there again."
-coachjsl, Google Reviews

Takara, Cd'A

"Three of us went to dinner at Takara, and three of us spent the next 24 hours on the toilet with diarrhea, nausea, and abdominal pain. We should have left the restaurant after we noticed our sushi chef was not only making our sushi, but also picking up a pen and writing orders, handling receipts, etc., without washing his hands before returning to the sushi. The sushi itself was decent, but the sanitary conditions of the restaurant are highly unsatisfactory. We will NEVER eat here again!"
-idahobug, TripAdvisor

Thai Bamboo, Cd'A

"The Thai Bamboo is Spokane provides passable Thai food, but this one in CdA is awful. TheIr Pad Thai tasted like it was made with KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce, without even a hint of peanut sauce. The green curry sauce was OK, but anyone who has eaten real Thai food will not enjoy this restaurant."
-Arunkun, Urban Spoon

Tito Macaroni, Cd'A

"The second time we ate there, they were slow, slow, slow. We were starving, so it really was like torture. The bathroom situation is so very inconvenient, as you have to go out into the shopping mall, walk a ways and go down a flight of stairs. Plus, it is hot and stuffy down there."
-Yami, TripAdvisor

White House Grill, Post Falls

"I think the words from the 8 year old that was dining with our group are telling - he called his meal "garlicky slop on a plate". Service was good, bread was over-proofed and tasteless, pasta horribly overcooked, chicken and lamb dishes were also overcooked and dry, lamb was very greasy, and the sauces were very thick, almost pudding like with garlic being the only flavor that stood out. Without trying to be too rude my comment to my wife was the dinners were like "Hungry-man meals gone horribly wrong."
-RetiredChef2, TripAdvisor