Local Music Radar: Cool & Weird

There's more kids than probably ever before flexing their creative muscles musically here in North Idaho. Look at the music calendar on the left sidebar and you'll see there's all kinds of solo acoustic, blues, and hard rock acts playing out and about. That's fantastic, but there's more to life than just John Mayer, John Lee Hooker, and John "Bonzo" Bonham wannabes. A nice deep dig through MySpace's Music zone reveals that there are quite a few artists right here in the greater Coeur d'Alene area making music that falls far outside the wine tasting, coffee shop, and dive bar scenes. Be brave. Keep an open mind. I dare you to check them out:


I recently got a random MySpace friend request from Coeur d'Alene's The Pop Eccentric aka Manuel Diaz. I know nada about this guy other than the fact that I was completely taken by his classically psychedelic, shoegazey, trance-inducing tunes, like this one, "Free Life":



Zepar has more hits on her MySpace than almost any other artist in Coeur d'Alene and it's plain to see why. Her beats are fresh, as thick and delicious as a Bowl-of-Soul from Java first thing in the morning. Her spoken word samples provide a jarring, often politically laced counterpoint to the mellowness of the electronic backdrop. Here's "Hooked":



Post Falls' Tim Nagel has a slightly wounded voice that wears it's bloody pop bandages like a forlorn McCartney or a less absract Radiohead, so sweetly melodic it leaves a resonance in the air that lingers when the song is through. On this live recording of "Don't Wait and See", Nagel accompanies himself solely with a bare acoustic guitar, but manages to mostly avoid the cliches that can befall such an arrangement:



Secret Passage to Nowhere are probably Coeur d'Alene's best (only?) drum-n-bass/acid techno act. According to their page, Dylan and Jared do programming and Ty "is a fag." Well then, Ty needs to keep working his faggoty magic on fun and fast electro tracks like "My Name Is Pillchard". Isn't the 90's rave sound making a comeback in the UK right now? Must be happening in Idaho too, I guess:



Bonus Track: You really have to hear it to believe it, but don't say I didn't warn you. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a great big not-safe-for-work warning that I present Coeur d'Alene's own Idaho Ballers. I have no idea who these rotten teen-age white-boy porno-rappers are, but they've recorded a hilariously bad and brain-toastingly raunchy ode to the Lake City called "Welcome to the CDA." The totally irony-free shout-outs to "C-Town" are outnumbered by dirty dirty rhymes which sent even these jaded old ears reeling with shock - I wanted to dump antibacterial soap in them. Enjoy:

Get Out Goes West: Fusion Teriyaki

Fusion Teriyaki
5815 E. Sprague,

Spokane, WA
(509) 534-9292

The question has been bouncing back and forth in my head lately like a Swedish meatball: Should I or should I not spread the Get Out tentacles across the state line into Spokane? I mean, the idea was always to keep my coverage pretty much confined exclusively to North Idaho. But there’s no denying the pull of our big ugly sister to the west. Like death, we all have to go sometimes. Okay, there are a few things about the Lilac City that aren’t totally depressing, like the historic beauty of Manito Park, the Museum of Arts and Culture, or the newly reopened Magic Lantern Theater. Most importantly, there are certain types of cuisine you simply can’t find here in the Panhandle. Where can you go over here if you’re having a wild craving for Schnitzel and Spatzle? Chicken Tikka Masala and Naan? An all-you-can-eat Slavic Buffet? Nowhere, and that’s why I’ve decided it’s okay to occasionally write up some of the more unusual dining experiences Spokane has to offer.

It really wasn't the best circumstance that happened to lead me into Spokane to try nouveau Korean cuisine for the first time. My mother was out of town for a couple of weeks and I was cruising around in her jazzy little Honda Civic while she was gone. One sleepy grey Sunday, my pal Roo and I decided we were going to bop over to Pasco, Washington just for something to do. Cruising through the Spokane Valley on I-90, the oil warning light went on suddenly so we pulled off the freeway, poured some oil in the engine, and went on our merry way. We were just discussing how it was a tad bit odd that the blinking oil light still hadn't gone away as suddenly all the dash warning lights went off like a cheap discotechque and the engine made a sound like a lawn mower with a nasty smoker’s hack. Realizing that we were in trouble, we pulled off at the next exit and glided into an abandoned used car lot on the corner of Sprague and Fancher. Several failed and miserable attempts to start restart the car made me get really, really quiet, something that unintentionally drives Roo insane: "Just say something!" I continued to sit in silence as one thought played in a loop through my brain: "My mother…is going…to kill me..."

Then, through the teardrops that were welling up my eyes, I saw the building across the street. I realized that this was not just any old building, but a building where I used to while away the wee hours during my late adolescence, drinking coffee with the freaks and weirdoes after dancing the night away at Club Mario’s, then located just a hat toss down Sprague Avenue. Indeed, it was the old Denny's building, the current home of Fusion Teriyaki. Overcome suddenly with hunger and curiosity, I wiped the away tears and decided that Fusion would be as good a place as any to sit and sort out our next move.

Wandering inside, it was a bit of a flashback as I noticed that the decor had barely changed since those dark Denny's days- the same 1970's faux-bamboo shades covered the windows, the same tragic yellowed light fixtures hovered above the tables. A splash of fresh white paint had been kind enough to grace the walls in lieu of wood paneling, but it was left boringly sparse with very little Korean embellishment or frou-frou. A couple of booths in the back corner had been yanked out of commission and replaced with a small stage upon which sat a karaoke system so elaborate it looked like it might suddenly lift off. Also on stage was an enormous flat-screen TV showing some kind of bizarre Korean game show in which, apparently, the boys sing bits and pieces of Western pop hits in an attempt to win a date with one of the girls, who then act terribly embarrassed about the whole thing. There's a lot of jumping about and flashing multicolored words in Korean script and all the boys have long shaggy hairdos like Ashton Kutcher on “That 70’s Show.”

Upon entrance our smiling waiter had visually sized up the two of us and sat us in the hugest, roomiest booth ever, which luckily was located directly next to the enormous TV. Not being in the most patient of moods, I scanned quickly through the list of items with multisyllabic unpronounceable names. I randomly picked out some kind of beef rice bowl and a Pepsi, since unfortunately the place sold as much booze as the waiter spoke English: none. Roo ordered something with chicken that looked a little on the scary-spicy side. I sipped my Pepsi and spaced out on a Korean TV commercial as I considered what to do about my mother's poor dead car.

It suddenly occurred to me that a few days before, when I was finalizing the details of my new cell phone purchase, Mimi the AT&T saleslady had told me that with my plan, I would receive two complimentary months of roadside assistance. I immediately called her up and she connected me to the help hotline. I found myself chatting with one of the friendliest and most helpful customer service ladies I have ever had the pleasure of having a mild crisis with. She gathered some info, and told me that a tow truck would be coming around in half an hour to tow the beast all the way to Post Falls for only $5.37. I told her I wanted to kiss her, and considered asking for her address so I could add her to my Christmas card list. I was so thankful and relieved.

A smattering of unexpected side dishes began arriving on our table. There were at least a dozen small but visually exciting little treats to be tried. I doubt I could recall all of it, and I'm certainly not sure what everything was named, but a few highlights remain stuck in my head. There were some nicely undercooked black beans in a sweet plum sauce; cold shredded potatoes and carrots in a zesty vinegar dressing; some tart and well-seasoned kimchi; some sprouts doused in a yogurty white dressing; cold fried egg whites with spinach and soy sauce; cubes of surprisingly flavorsome pickled tofu.

I hadn't even had a chance to try everything by the time the main dish arrived with a friendly warning from the waiter: “Hot! Hot!” He placed before me a giant heated bowl made of thick stone and filled with sizzling rice, shreds of tender, fiery beef, various oddball vegetables, and an egg dramatically cracked over the whole thing. I was mildly alarmed to realize that the egg was still raw, but was amazed as it cooked and solidified in moments before my very eyes. A variety of chili oils and hot sauces were supplied to really perk things up.

Roo reacted very enthusiastically to his huge dish of rice and bright orange peppery chicken and vegetables by making it disappear in a little over two minutes. My meal (a Google search later revealed the dish to be called “Bibim Bap”) was absolutely fantastic. My only complaint was that the bowl was so hot that it continued to fast cook the rice stuck around the sides, thus making it brown and unpleasantly crunchy. Being new to Korean cuisine, this was probably my fault - I might have stirred everything in the bowl together and maybe added some chili sauce to avoid this dilemma. Next time (and there WILL be one) I will try that trick.

We left feeling satisfied and renewed. The earlier stress of the car breaking down drifted away, as we sat in a food coma waiting for the tow-truck driver to come and scoop us up. Fusion was a fair-priced, memorable and totally unique dining experience, unlike anything else in the Spokane area or North Idaho and I highly recommend having your car break down across the street from it.

Locals Should Come Downtown and Rediscover Cd'A's Core

Certain Coeur d’Alene natives often wheeze about how there’s just no reason to go downtown anymore. For many years, downtown was where you had to go for pretty much any and everything you needed. There were no hyper-mega stores, no super-ultra marts. You went to the bakery for bread, to the butcher for meat, and to the drug store for laxatives, valium, and root beer floats. Like many cities, Coeur d’Alene’s once-thriving downtown district went bust after people fell in love with the supermarkets and the shopping malls, where they could get all their necessary items in one convenient go. By the mid-80’s, half of the storefronts along Sherman Avenue sat empty and unloved, and what businesses did remain struggled to stay open. That is, with the exception of Hudson’s Hamburgers, which people would still line up for even in the midst of a nuclear winter.

As our fair city by the lake began to make its name as a world-class tourist destination, coupled with some appealing cosmetic renovations, the empty shops gradually began to fill up. However, many city residents weren’t too jazzed about the exclusive art and antique galleries and designer boutiques that began popping up, perceiving them to be full of opulent but useless merchandise aimed solely at the tourist dollar. Pretty much the only time certain local folks ever walk Sherman Avenue is once a year when they line the street with lawn chairs for the 4^th of July parade. A friend of mine, who is a lifelong Coeur d’Alene resident, often complains about the lack of downtown shops selling anything of a practical, useful nature, lamenting “a guy can’t even find a place down there to buy some underwear!”

While that may be odd but sadly true, I disagree with the notion that our city center holds little use for us locals. Certainly, there are the more obvious things, like the fantastic new Coeur d’Alene Public Library, the top-rated dining establishments, and the Wi-Fi ready coffee shops. There are the classic standbys like the Iron Horse, Crickets and the Eagles Lounge, all of which have been given eye-pleasing makeovers recently. In addition, it seems like a veritable glut of cool places have emerged in the last couple of years, creating plenty of reasons for local residents to come down and rediscover their city’s core.

People everywhere are growing tired of the homogeny of malls and big-box chain stores and rediscovering the joys of shopping in quirky, independently owned stores in a lively downtown setting. Reflecting this trend, the Moose Market opened recently at the intersection of 4^th and Sherman. It was initially touted as a grocery mart, something our downtown desperately needed. While they do sell a handful of staples, it’s primarily a specialty gourmet market and deli. They carry a wonderful selection of unusual, organic, and locally made food items, including any product you could ever possibly create using huckleberries. Most impressive are the coolers and coolers full of micro and import beers and the massive selection of unusual wines – this is the place to go if your looking for a nice cold Dead Guy Ale or a rare bottle of Gewurztraminer. Even if you’re just looking for a Green Squall PowerAde and a Baby Ruth, the Moose Market will hook you up.

Also newish downtown is Figpickels Toy Emporium, which is a store that causes jaws of all ages to hit the floor upon entry. Too much great stuff to play with! “Hands On” is the motto in this place- they actually encourage shoppers here to tinker with the merchandise. Figpickels is full of a ton of classic and retro playthings that will have you flashing back to memories of childhood. This funky, old-fashioned toy store is about as far removed from popular chains like KB and Toys-R-Us as possible. There are no mass-marketed, toxic made-in-China toys here – every item is high quality and unique. Come in just to see the stuffed grizzly bear, the hand carved rocking horses and the three-horse miniature carousel. You’ll be probably end up stuck there for hours and you’ll love it.

There are at least a dozen art galleries downtown I could mention, and although I’m sure they’re all fine and dandy, one in particular stands out in my mind for its totally unusual works. Truthfully, I’ve never actually been inside the Rivers of Art gallery on 4^th Street because I always find myself there after closing time. However, I’ve peered in the windows often, drawn in by the drama of the spotlights reflecting off the weird silvery metal sculptures on display. There’s a lot of strangeness to behold inside Rivers of Art, but the most out-there piece has to be the one I call “that robot lady.” She’s about seven feet tall, made of shiny chrome, has pointy Madonna cone breasts, and is pointing a gun at the sky. She’s totally abstract and for some reason, she’s got a nice comfy hammock strung between her thin metallic hands. Or is it a large fish net? Either way, she must be seen to be believed.

I can remember a time when downtown Coeur d’Alene would become a ghost town once the shop keepers would lock their doors and go home for the night. These days, there’s actually a varied and vibrant music scene to take in. Whilst checking out intimate venues like Café Doma or Barrel Room No. 6, one thing becomes clear – popular artists like Dave Matthews and Jewel have inspired a seemingly endless cache of acoustic guitar wielding singer-songwriters willing to bare their souls for you while you sip your latte or vintage Riesling. Jazz and blues will never go out of style, and the Wine Cellar serves up some of the best in the area every night except Sunday, with regular performances by local favorites like Pat Coast, Laffin Bones, Emma’s Nasty Apple and Jim Tilden Brown.

Looking for something a little wilder? I mean a lot wilder? Sneak up to the Torch Lounge and get into the sensory overload of the place with its gargantuan floor-to-ceiling video screens, thunderous hard rock and rap music, multicolored liquor shots served in test tubes, and of course, the “dancing” bikini girls. It’s kind of like being trapped inside a Britney Spears video, but in a good way. Really, this form of gentleman’s entertainment is just a modern update of Geisha girls or Go-Go dancers, except with 90% less clothing. Never a dull moment at the Torch, but it’s definitely not a place for the meek and mild.

Make sure you don’t enjoy the downtown nightlife TOO much, for if you find yourself a bit on the tipsy side who knows what you could get up to? How about a dip in the water fountain at the foot of the McKuen Terrace condos? Maybe a naked 3AM photo session while riding the giant buffalo sculpture outside the Art Spirit gallery? Tour the alleyways directly north and south of Sherman Avenue and go dumpster diving. “Accidentally” trample the geraniums at the Coeur d’Alene Resort while looking for a secret back way into Whispers lounge. Go to the top of the Resort parking garage and throw your shoes over the edge, then go find them. Cruise through the Resort driveway, watch the valet run out towards you, then drive under the canopy and speed off into the night, cackling. I’m only kidding, Mr. Holstein. Seriously, I’m not actually recommending that anyone should try any of these antics or instead of exploring the quaint charms of downtown, they’ll be exploring the quaint charms of Kootenai County Jail.

Bread Crumbs: Random Bits

There's nothing more simple and delicious to me than a perfectly done cheese pizza. Ellen DeGeneres says she'd eat it for lunch every day if she could. And actually, so would I. Throw even one topping on there and it's an entirely different thing. The topping always becomes the main attraction. With cheese pizza, cheese is the star of the show, and when it falls under the heat of the oven, it gets all bubbly and crisp - brilliance.

The girl at Papa Murphy's looked at me a little sideways when I didn't order an Ultra Deluxe Family Size Gourmet Chicken Garlic Fantasy or whatever it is they like to specialize in. "Cheese. Large." This place is generous with the cheese normally, but when you order a naked pie, they really heap it on. Six measly bucks and twenty minutes later, I've got enough cheesy, crispy crusty goodness to last at least three meals, each with a nice little side salad. Not only is it delicious and not overly indulgent, but the price is right for a poor starving blogger like me.

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Boo! Please email me at orangetv@yahoo.com if you hear of any Halloween-oriented activities happening later this month. I want to include as many things as I can on the calendar as I can and may write a main article about it if I can find enough stuff to write about.

Actual Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year, which always makes partying that night a bit of a drag for those who have to work the next morn (and I include myself in that group). Many places are having their big she-bangs the weekend before (see Rock Joint flyer below). I know Mik-n-Mac's is doing their thing on the 31st and will be giving away $1000 as they do every year - $500 for Overall Best and $100 each for other categories. I won "funniest" a few years ago with my "Gina K. Logical" trailer trash lady costume. It was a Divine-in-Pink-Flamingos dress, spring loaded boobs, pink fluffy slippers, a huge wig and blue eyeshadow. I was quite miserable in the outfit but it was all worth it when I won. You're going to have to cough up a lot of cash if you want to see the pics...

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Wow. I heard the musty old Shore Lounge finally banned smoking. I have an idea they finally got tired of touristos bitching about the lingering aroma during Sunday brunches in the Lounge or something. Not that I'm necessarily pro-smoking, but it is Idaho where we are technically still allowed to do so in bars and cocktail lounges. In fact, I imagine that a certain number of California or Washington residents visiting the Cd'A Resort were delighted to find out they could smoke right there inside. I know my smoker friends from those states love it when theyvisit and have the luxury of going to bars and puffing away without having to stand out in the chill.

Anyway, good for the Shore Lounge for being ahead of the curve because eventually they'll ban the same anti-smoking laws here and smokers will just have to learn how to deal. Meanwhile, I wonder how Resort Security drones are enjoying monitoring all the loud happy drunk people wandering back and forth across the seasickness-inducing lobby carpet between the lounge and the front door creating tipsy havoc on their way to go smoke every half hour.

Rock Joint Halloween Flyer

Coeur d’Alene Symphony Orchestra’s Autumn Classic Concert

Each year, it begins with the slightest whiff of something in the air, a cool crispness which seems familiar but oddly foreign after a long spell of tepid summer evenings. Windows that once stood permanently open at night are slammed shut in bouts of 4 a.m. chills. Pungent puffs of wood smoke drift from the rooftops in confabulation with the lumbering morning fog. Reluctant orange school buses return from their vacations, carting sharply dressed students off to attend their new classes in body only, for mentally they remain on the beach, at the mall, or on the couch in front of the Playstation or X-box. Daylight hours rapidly shrink as the frost begins to do a heavy number on resplendently multicolored trees, causing suicidal leaves to pull a Peggy Lee and ask “Is that all there is?” before leaping to meet that final disappointment.

Such is the onset of autumn, and like it or not it means you’ll barely have time to rake your yard and bake a mincemeat pie before Lady Winter marches in with her merciless ice, snow and jaw-dropping electric bills. Sometimes fall in North Idaho seems pointlessly brief, a fleeting interlude somewhere between the end of the tourist season and the opening of the Halloween Superstore. Fortunately, the Coeur d’Alene Symphony Orchestra is performing its annual Autumn Classic concert this evening at North Idaho College to help ease us through the seasonal transition and provide us with a chance to wrap ourselves in the majestic warmth and comfort of live classical music.

The Coeur d’Alene Symphony Orchestra has been one of the most cherished entities in the local Arts and Music scene since its formation nearly 30 years ago as the significantly smaller Coeur d’Alene Chamber Orchestra. Initially, membership was exclusive to students within the NIC music department. As interest grew, so did the need to expand the talent pool and today the orchestra is open to anyone able to pass an audition. According to Orchestra Manager Sandy Daniel, the Symphony League is continuously recruiting new members, cultivating interest by reaching out to young musicians in local area schools and providing scholarships for four talented students per year. Currently, the Orchestra consists of around 70 members representing a completely diverse lot of ages, backgrounds, and musical areas of expertise.

This year marks David Demand’s 6^th season in the role of conductor, and looking at his long and prestigious resume, we are quite lucky to have such a considerable talent in our midst. Since graduating from Washington State University and studying at the Banff School of Fine Arts, Demand has had some amazing gigs. He was company pianist with the renowned Joffrey Ballet in New York, principle keyboardist with the Cedar Rapids Symphony, and has performed throughout the United States, Canada, and Europe as a conductor, soloist, and accompanist. He’s presently the Director of Music at Spokane’s Saint George’s school, the conductor of Coeur d’Alene’s popular Opera Plus and somehow still manages to spend quality time with his wife and kids at home in Chattaroy.

Sandy Daniel reveals that a variety of input goes into choosing the compositions the Orchestra performs at each concert. A questionnaire is included in each concert program handed out to audiences, inviting anyone with ideas or musical suggestions to share them and participate. A committee formed of members of the Orchestra shuffles through the suggestions and narrows down the selections based on the mood and theme of each concert. For example, the upcoming annual Holiday Concert explores jazz and traditional pop elements, and the Family Concert in January appeals to the kid in us all with the theme of “A Night at the Movies”, including performances of popular songs from Lord of the Rings, Looney Tunes and Mission Impossible. In regards to the engaging variety of the Orchestra’s chosen material, Daniel says “Not all music is interesting to every person so we try to provide a diverse mix and hopefully find something that will appeal to everyone in the community.”

Tonight’s Autumn Classic concert consists of three traditional classical pieces, each chosen to evoke the transitory beauty and color-shifting wonder of the season. The first composition the Orchestra will be performing is a short and distinctly upbeat tune by Russian composer Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov titled “Procession of the Nobles.” Listening to the piece, one gets the feeling that Jack Frost and his icy henchmen are the Nobles in question, gleefully taking on and stamping out the warm afternoons of Indian summer.

Next is Franz Joseph Haydn’s four part “Symphony No. 101 in D Major”, more commonly known as the “Clock Symphony.” This 1874 piece is named for the clock-like ticking rhythm throughout the 2nd movement, but it’s melancholic grandeur reminds these ears of the feeling one gets when Daylight Saving Time ends and the clock slips back an hour and darkness takes over most of our waking moments.

Lastly, Johannes Brahms’ “Double Concerto, Opus 102” playfully summons a storm on an ominously cloudy fall day, its brisk meter and pastoral violin phrases suggesting gusty winds blowing bright orange, red and yellow maple leaves into piles on the ground, each color made even more vibrant under the sheen of heavy raindrops. Adding to the composition’s Autumnal mystique, it was Brahms’ last composition for the orchestra and was debuted in the heart of fall on October 18, 1887, 120 years ago almost exactly to the day.

Bundle up in your warmest, comfiest sweater and scarf this evening. Brave the chill and come down to the toasty confines of the Schuler Auditorium in North Idaho College’s Boswell Hall and enjoy a performance by the splendid harvest of talented musicians who comprise one of the Inland Northwest’s finest large ensembles. The concert begins at 7:30.Tickets available through Coeur d’Alene Symphony at 208-765-3833, TicketsWest at 800-325-SEAT, or at the door. $15 adults; $12 seniors; $8 students; convenience fees may apply.

Bread Crumbs: Random Bits

If you didn't already notice, I redesigned things a bit here and I like it much better. Also, I added karaoke listings and links to the side bar. Tell you what - if you link to this site on your site, I will add yours to my blogroll. Likewise, if you come across any good local food, arts or night life sites I haven't listed, please let me know...

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You know Sushi (or 寿司, 鮨, 鮓, as they say back in Japan) has finally become fully absorbed into North Idaho culture when you start seeing it pop up in every grocery store deli zone. Albertsons was first, selling trays of California rolls only. They were located way back in the meat department for some reason. It tasted OK if you bought it on the first day, but otherwise it was nothing to worry Takara about to say the least. Safeway started bringing in their own version of fast Sushi, and in a much wider variety of styles, including salty Unagi (BBQ Eel) and Inari (fried soy curd) along with the standard faux-crab California rolls. These were only sightly better on the edibility scale, but the store lets them linger for days and I've seen some pretty scary looking Sushi trays floating around there.

I'm not a regular Super 1 shopper at all, but I ended up at the Hayden store the other day and was amazed to see a vibrantly colorful deli case full of little Sushi packages in at least a dozen varieties. This Sushi actually resembled the stuff they serve in a Japanese cafe - It was difficult to decide what kind to try. Even more encouraging was the sign posted saying "Made fresh daily on site" so you know you're getting a fresh product and not something made a week ago and shipped in from Tacoma or somewhere. I chose the mini variety pack, which had a mini spicy tuna roll sliced into 6 pieces done maki style, along with several pieces done iniri style (slice of raw fish on lump of rice). The salmon piece was cold and buttery in texture, just like it should be. The Unagi (eel) selection was smoky and really good. I was quite impressed and am anxious to return and try the other varieties they offer.

Two bummers to mention, however. Super 1 Sushi costs a lot - I paid $6.89 for my little snack and I saw larger trays for around $12. It's cheaper to go to an actual Sushi restaurant I do believe. The other problem is the same with the other grocery store Sushis - why oh why do they only include one measly little packet of soy sauce? That's about 1 1/2 teaspoons worth and it certainly ain't enough to work with. Yeah, I have a bottle at home, but what if I was taking it to work or on a picnic. No one wants to eat dry sushi, and the large amount of wasabi they include will burn your face off unless you temper it with some soy sauce. Throw in some extra packets, folks! It's not gonna break ya.

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I've been meaning to mention the billboard on Northwest Boulevard for the Fort Ground Grill, but Jane Q. Citizen beat me to it on this thread over on Huckleberries Online, where a bit of a controversy is broiling about the subject. Jane thinks it's "Hooters-esque" and demeaning to the poor young waitresses there who don't enjoy being objectified, and this makes their job performance bad, which explains why everyone thinks service there is slow. I disagreed, saying that I think it's fun and campy and that the waitresses ought to loosen up a tad and get a sense of humor. Consequently it was implied by several posters that I wouldn't understand because I'm just a dumb, chauvinistic male who thinks the waitresses should just "put up and shut up". Well, I find that pretty funny since I'm a totally not-sexist person and I don't even play for that team anyway. It's OK for them to stereotype all men as misogynistic, but it's not OK to supposedly "objectify" women by finding amusement in a harmless billboard. Hrrmph.

The way I see it, if the waitresses at the Fort Ground are unhappy with their jobs since the big bad billboard appeared on the scene, they have two options. Find a new job or get over it. They're merely staff and like any other establishment, staff has to deal with whatever decisions the owners and management make. The Fort Ground higher-ups decided they wanted to advertise the place in such a certain way and that's their call. I honestly don't think they intended to abuse their waitresses, they just found the image and the catchphrase to be clever and memorable. The fact that people are even talking about it means it worked very well. If they had used a buff, shirtless man instead would there still be such a kerfuffle about it?
People are so darn touchy these days.

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I'm certainly not going to bother with giving the Appleway Burger King an actual Get Out review or mini-review. But I am going to mention that I think that place really needs help, at least service wise. Yeah, yeah - I know its fast food and all, and I shouldn't pick on little shits getting paid dirt wages, but there are some fast food joints that actually train their staff on good customer service skills, so I don't think there are excuses. McDonalds is actually always fast and friendly, and of course Sonic is all about making people happy. Burger King, on the other hand really stinks. I blame it directly on the management for not properly training those kids, cluing them into basic manners and politeness.

It was my mother's idea to pop in there the other day. We just wanted quick and easy. After ordering a chicken sandwich and fries, she asked for a side of mayo and was told by the tall skinny kid behind the register that they were fresh out .
"Out of mayonnaise?" we asked. "Well, what are y'all putting on the chicken sandwiches?"
The kid goes "Uhhh...mayonnaise I guess."
"OK, we'd like a side of that."
"Um, but we're out of the packets" he mumbled.
"OK, well take a scoop of mayonnaise from the jar and put it in a little cup or something."
"Um, I gotta ask my manager if that's OK."
So he starts looking around the place and totally disappears until we finally see him through the window outside chit-chatting with a manager who is smoking a cig. Two minutes later and the manager decides to put out her smoke and come in. Meanwhile we're waiting...waiting...food is getting cold.
"Is there a problem?" she says.
"We just want a side of friggin' mayonnaise, my dear."
"We're out of packets."
My mother and I looked at each other in disbelief, but thankfully another "manager" who seemed to have half-a-clue must have overheard and emerged from the kitchen with a size-small drink cup FULL of the white stuff. It was enough to fill a small jar, certainly more than we needed. The quantity was kind-of insulting, like "Here, this'll shut 'em up!"

I got some BK coupons in the mail recently and included was a coupon for a free Spicy Chicken sandwich with the purchase of a meal, and a craving hit me. So I attempted to order in the drive through and the girl just COULD NOT understand my coupon. She kept telling me they didn't have Spicy Chicken sandwiches on sale right now. I kept telling her "OK, fine" but that didn't matter because I had a coupon. Anyway, long story short - she got progressively more rude in tone and manner as I kept attempting to order and after a few minutes I just said "forget it, I'm out" and raced away. Pish on you, BK - train your kids to be nice!

Mangia

Mangia
115 W. Seltice Way
Post Falls
(208) 457-9999

When Mom calls to invite you out to dinner and asks where you want to go, you might as well pick somewhere a little bit fancy. It was pointed out to me lately that I’ve covered multiple Chinese and Mexican joints, but I was totally lacking in the Italian cuisine department. The truth is that Italian restaurants are normally a little beyond the realm of my modest entertainment budget, so it’s fairly rare that I have the opportunity to visit them. So yesterday when my mother asked where we should eat - her treat - the first place that popped into my head was Italian eatery Mangia, one of the more recent entries into the exploding Post Falls fine dining scene.

Sometimes when I’m getting ready to investigate a new restaurant, I hit the internet and Google the name of the place to see what comes up. In the case of Mangia, the results were rather unpromising, even a little grim. The sadly no-longer-updated Spokane food review site “Taste Everything Once” features around a dozen customer reviews of the pasta place back before they relocated to Post Falls, when they had a short-lived stint at the Spokane Valley Mall. Comments range from “The worst meal I’ve had in years” to “For the sake of your stomach, stay away from this place.” Cruelest of all is “I would recommend that everybody avoid this place, save your money and buy a frozen microwavable meal, it will still be far better than what you will get at Mangia.” Ouch.

I like to keep an open mind, so I was willing to think they’d gotten their act together since then. Mangia owner Tim Mitchell, who is a 2003 Post Falls High graduate, decided to relocate the restaurant to his hometown earlier this summer. After enduring the madness of the Valley Mall in an ill-fated location directly between the restrooms and the cacophonous video arcade, the opportunity to open in a quiet, stand-alone building was too great to pass up. Mitchell and co-owners Josh Mitchell and Shawny Normington have transformed the tiny former A&W into a simple but quaint bistro, with rustic wooden floors and walls, dangling silk vines with purple grape clusters, wine-bottle candle holders and Sinatra-esque lounge music swinging in the background.

I was a little nervous about the experience after what I’d read on the web, especially since I didn’t want my dear mother to nitpick the place to death if things went sideways. Fortunately, everything was going very well – we were seated right away, and our amiable server Jessica took our drink order immediately. I was a little worried when my mom ordered a nice glass of Chilean white from the wine list and Jessica said “Um, let me make sure we have that kind…”, but she returned from the kitchen immediately, unflustered, glass of wine in hand. Whew. Sometimes I get too excited by the small things in life, but I was totally jazzed that they had Splenda packets for my iced tea instead of just the icky stuff in the pink packets. Very few places actually give you the option.

We focused our attention on the menu. Mangia features a fairly standard line up of Italian fare like Spaghetti with three meatball choices, a variety of Raviolis, Lasagna, and Chicken Marsala. Some of the more unique dishes offered include the Chicken Picatta with Lemon Caper Cream Sauce, Pesto & Prawn Toretellinis, and Tomato Basil Salmon. Dinner menu items here typically run in the $12-20 price range, but the lunch menu includes a wide selection of tempting Italian classics for well under ten bucks. A full range of appetizers and homemade desserts are available as well, and they serve an unusual selection of European beers with unpronounceable names. The wine list isn’t the most extensive I’ve ever seen, but the selection is interesting enough to satisfy all but the haughtiest of sommeliers.

I have a major thing for Seafood Fettucini. If I go to a place and I see it on the menu, I just have to try it. I’ve eaten Seafood Fettucini in dozens of restaurants over the years and every place does it a little different, which makes it fun since you never know exactly what you’ll get. It took me approximately three seconds to locate it on the Mangia menu and I was ready to order. My mom said she wasn’t really hungry for anything big, but temptation won and she decided the Eggplant Parmesan sounded too mouth-watering to pass up.

When Jessica came to take our order, my mom actually asked her “would you recommend the Eggplant Parmesan?” and she replied perkily “oh yes, definitely!” I think it’s so funny when people do that because what if she’d said something like “Oh God no, that stuff is disgusting!” I mean, of course she’s going to recommended it. “Miss, would you recommend the Chewy Lizard Spleen in Vodka-Bubblegum sauce?” “Oh yes, definitely!”

Our meals were off to an impressive start with our salads, which were brought out immediately and with a smile. These Caesar salads seemed like the real deal, made very simply with crisp romaine bits coated in a dressing that tasted like it had been made on the spot with raw egg, anchovies and all, then sprinkled with coarse tangy parmesan and fresh croutons. I’ll admit I was especially famished when I arrived here at Mangia, but this was probably the most delicious Caesar salad I’ve had in ages, and my mother must have agreed since she finished hers off nearly as fast as I did.

Our main dishes arrived moments later, along with a steaming basket of pull-apart bread. Jessica poured some herbal-infused olive oil onto a small plate for dipping our soft bread chunks and left us to dig in. Alfredo sauce can be tough to pull off well. It’s no good if it’s not white enough, ending up too buttery and thin. It’s even worse if it’s too white, thick and pasty and bland. Mangia got it exactly right, incorporating either a light white wine or a bit of lemon juice to provide the perfect rich flavor and consistency. Also impressive was the variety of sea creatures swimming within amongst the delectable noodles – huge bits of clam, large shrimp, sweet scallops and even round calamari slices.

My mother can be a little on the hypercritical side when it comes to dining out, but happily she declared her Eggplant Parmesan to be fully luscious. It certainly looked good, a massive portion of the main dish accompanied by a pile of curly macaroni noodles drenched in chunky marinara sauce. However, she gave up after just a few bites, saying she really wasn’t that hungry after all. She must have read my mind when she offered to let me take the huge leftover portion home for later.

After I dropped her off, I noticed the wonderful rich aroma of the leftovers was permeating my car and making me totally hungry all over again. When I went to leave again a few hours later, the food scent in my car was still strong as ever, even though I’d tucked the actual to-go box away in the fridge. Even in slumber, the smell continued to haunt my mind. I had the strangest dream that I was hired as the new drummer for a Motley Crue tribute band and I could actually play! We had a gig in (where else) an Italian restaurant and everybody there was gorging on delicious Eggplant Parmesan. I woke up suddenly and blearily went to the fridge, popped the white carton into the microwave and finished the thing off at 3:39 a.m. Even reheated, it was delicious. I’m not usually a fan of red sauce, but it was just the right amount of tangy and really brought out the earthy flavor and meaty texture of the eggplant.

The owners of Mangia must have taken the complaints regarding their Valley Mall incarnation to heart and worked toward avoiding the same pitfalls in Post Falls. Both my mother and I found the food to be fine enough to garner a return visit next time we have relatives in town, and the friendly service gave us nothing to grumble about. If they can keep up the good work, they’ll surely become another distinguished River City destination dining spot.