Dangerous Dog Serious Sausage

Dangerous Dog Serious Sausage
108 N 4th St.,Coeur d'Alene
(208) 819-0011

By nature, hot dogs are kind of lighthearted affairs. They're associated with old-fashioned good-time fun such as baseball games, trips to the circus, and thrift store anniversary sales. Or at the very least, a happy lunchtime trip to experience the simplicity of Gittel's 3 for $1.69 hot dogs, fresh from the prongs of the spinny machine, served with ketchup and mustard only.

"My wiener is happy to see you." It's the saying printed underneath a cartoon dachshund on a silly shirt I picked up from St. Vinny's a while ago, but never really felt compelled to break it out of the closet and put it on until I knew we were going on our maiden voyage to the new Dangerous Dog in the former City Perk location behind the Moose Lounge near 4th and Sherman in downtown Coeur d'Alene.

It seemed appropriate, also considering the recent extremely silly controversy involving Rep. Anthony Weiner's wiener being tweeted and flashed all over every news outlet everywhere. Lately, the Wiener/wiener jokes are pulsating through every blog, office, and bar in the nation. This probably doesn't sound quite right to say in that particular context, but right now wieners are way hot.

So, with all the wacky hot dog flapdoodle going on, it's a bit wry that Dangerous Dog uses the tagline "serious sausage". And they're not just dicking around with the idea, either. Twenty two different dog options currently appear on their menu, and each one has something completely unique, creative and sometimes slightly off-the-radar going on. It's obvious that a lot of serious contemplation went into the idea of jazzing up the basic frank and bun arrangement, and all the brain strain apparently paid off.

As I sit here typing, I am currently in a haze of hot dog bliss after consuming a divine Dangerous Dog lunch consisting of the #7, the All Cheese Dog. Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Mozzarella, Cotija cheese, and whole grain mustard all layered nice and thick on a plump wiener on an intensely fresh-baked bun that was soft and doughy on the outside and crispy golden in the center. It was a fantastic way to spend my lunch break and very well worth every penny of the $4 i put into it. Cheese nirvana!

Today was actually my third experience with the Dangerous Dog, and like cheap no-prescription narcotics mail-ordered surreptitiously from overseas, I'm totally hooked. These folks do wonderful, creative things with the blank canvas of a hot dog, and really, downtown Coeur d'Alene kinda got a few notches groovier overall when they decided to open up their doors.

Jesi accompanied me on my first visit to the place last week, and we were captivated right away by the sparse, urban vibe of the interior. Retro 70s chairs, raw plywood floors, the abstract art of neighbor Stevin Scroggins hung high below the exposed, unfinished ceiling. Indie-folk on the radio, and most perfectly, old Pink Panther cartoon on the flat-screen TV (it was still playing the other two times I visited). The place is open and airy, but comfortable and inviting, with the main focus being the huge chalk menu up on the wall behind the counter.

And oh, what a menu it is!A friend had raved gushingly about the #17 Chutney India Dog on Facebook a few days earlier, so I was pretty sure this was the one I had to check out, but with so many frankly bizarre options, the decision wasn't an easy one. The "Around the World in 80 Dogs" segment of the menu is a rotating selection of dogs that incorporate rarely seen ingredients from the culinary globe.

The #19 Chorzipan Argentina (Pork Chorizo, Mayonnaise, Chimichurri, Fresh Salsa) ($6.25) and the #20 Terimayo Japan (Pork Sausage, Teriyaki Sauce, Pineapple, Seaweed, Green Onions, Wasani Mayo) ($6.50) are just plain crazy, but the oddness factor of putting something like seaweed on a hot dog makes them something you'll want to throw down some shock and awe about when you talk about them later. 

Anthony Weiner might appreciate the #10 Naked ("Nothing at all. Your dog flying solo on a bun") ($2.75), but more interesting options abound such as the #14 Lamb Menguez (Artichoke pesto. Kalmata olives, Feta chesse, Lemon Dijonnaise) ($6.75), the #9 Blue Demon (Bleu Cheese dressing, Celery, Carrots, Gorgonzola Cheese, Buffalo Sauce), or the #12 Hippie (Veggie dog, Alfalfa sprouts, Mushrooms, yellow mustard, ketchup) ($4.25).

Jesi was the bravest girl of all when she decided to order the #6 P.B. Dog with peanut butter, sliced bananas, and chopped peanuts. She let me take a bite, and it's actually not as weird as it sounds and somehow the flavors and textures meld together in a unexpectedly right-on way.  Plus, the buns are so just-baked and delicioso, they could spread Shark Testicle Pâté, Vaseline, and sliced kiwis all over a plump wiener inside and it would still be incredible.

The Chutney Dog was the most expensive of the whole bunch at $7.25, and ultimately, it did seem a little wee for the price, but the thing was so cosmically flavorful and exotically enjoyable, I'd likely pay double when the craving strikes again. The mango chutney was house-made and full of sweetness and a terrific bang of spice, the cucumber riata was a bright flavor foil to the intensity of the chutney, the cilantro was a nice, perky touch, and underneath was a Chicken Mango Jalapeno sausage that was enough to make Oscar Mayer start selling his furniture on Craigslist.

Dangerous Dogs are great to go as well, as I found out when Jesi recently brought a #3 Pac Northwest (Cream Cheese, Caramelized onions, house sauce) ($3.75) to me at work at the bar. Advice: don't wear a white t-shirt while eating one of these incredibly tasty beasts, they are messy little buggers. I tried the soda water trick, but to no avail - so I just wore my hot dog stain proudly the rest of the night as a symbol of my love for Dangerous Dog and I just KNOW my customers were jealous.

Dangerous dog also serves ice cream and is open late (midnight weeknights and until 3 am Fridays and Saturdays).    

Valentino’s Pizza & Subs

Valentino’s Pizza & Subs
219 West Canfield Avenue, Coeur d’Alene
(208) 772-0220

“Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.” ~ Unknown

Stumbling upon a local pizza place that serves it up by the slice is always cause for celebration, especially when that place has nine tempting varieties of Blue Bunny ice cream to celebrate the discovery with. As someone who doesn’t mind taking a solo lunch break from time to time, I rarely get a chance to indulge in pizza simply because I don’t want or need to order an entire big old pie to myself.

Fresh, melty pizza is my favorite and most guilt-inducing food fetishes, and that right there is really the problem. A slice or two once in awhile isn’t going to cause my weight loss plan to crumble and croak, but an entire box of leftover deliciousness would put a definite strain on the threadbare fabric of my willpower and would end up chasing my light vanilla yogurt off the breakfast table the next morning.

With their massive selection of delightfully carb-rich pizza pies, sandwiches, baked treats and other goodies, Valentino’s in north Coeur d’Alene would actually even test the willpower of Dr.Atkins himself. Owner Charlie Taranto left no pizza stone unturned menu-wise, with a sprawling and unique selection of items based on the recipes of his father Valentino, a legendary name in the Chicago-style pizza scene.

From what I can gather, Taranto’s entire life has been spent basking in the radiant heat of the pizza oven, and tangy tomato sauce runs through his veins. He and his wife Candy ran a handful of award-winning take-and-bake pizza restaurants in Southern California in the early 80s, a time when take-and-bake was still a new and risky business concept. Obviously, the idea caught on faster than it takes me to incinerate a 99-cent frozen pizza, and by the time the Tarantos relocated to North Idaho and opened Valentino’s, people everywhere were taking-and-baking themselves silly.

The couple wasn’t content to simply rest on their laurels when they arrived in their strip-mall storefront across the street from the Silver Lake Mall. The addition of a row of cozy booths and some Tuscan décor was part of a logical expansion into actual restaurant-hood, and they didn’t stop there. Val’s Giant Subs are indeed colossal from what I saw, and are served up booth hot and cold on fresh, soft-baked rolls. Their signature sub, the “Santa Barbreque Beef” is a hefty little number, with thin-sliced roast beef cooked up with onions and smoky BBQ sauce and topped with melted mozzarella.

For those with a stronger knack for self control than I possess, Valentino’s serves five varieties of garden salads big enough to please two hungry tummies, and a Veggie Pizza on whole wheat crust that even brings zucchini to the party. Also on the low-fat fun list are their nearly two dozen smoothies named with a creative and somewhat surreal variety of names such as Strawberry Field, Oh My Papaya, Raspberry Romeo, Chocolate Cow, and Picasso. Don’t forget to top it off with a Fat Stripper Power Boost.

Naturally, Valentino’s pizzas themselves are the main hook and it’s not hard to see and taste why the restaurant was voted the region’s best pizza the last two years in a row in the North Idaho Business Journal reader’s poll. Along with the usual “build-your-own” setup, combos include the Hawaiian Delight, the Meat Lover, the Garlic Chicken with white sauce and the meatless Margherita Roma, which is as Italian as Don Corleone with Garlic Marinara, smoked provolone cheese, and fresh Roma tomatoes. Cosi Bello!

The Mediterranean delight seems to be one of their fastest flying specimens, as evidenced by the number of customers I heard speak its name up at the counter. I was fortunate to have arrived just as Taranto was pulling one out of the over to sell as individual slices for lunch. Feta, Mozzerella, and Romano cheeses; Artichokes, kalamata olives and sundried tomatoes; these are a few of my favorite things. The recipe is old school and in Valentino’s hands, reminds me of the beginning of a story once told by Golden Girls’ Sophia, “Picture it, Cicely, 1921…”

The thick, fluffy garlic crust was cut from the Chicago-style mode and was good enough, I would have eaten it by itself. Toppings were generous and my two slices were served piping hot, something that can be an occasional issue with pizza-by-the-slice. No problems here, and although I was pretty stuffed, I wasn’t feeling so full (or guilty) that I couldn’t sample a kid’s cone full of “Bunny Tracks” ice cream, a rich vanilla laced with tiny chocolate-peanut butter bunny rabbits.

Whether you take it and bake it, shake it or steak it, Valentino’s is a truly fantastic, locally-owned alternative to the ubiquitous national pizza and sub chain restaurants, and its memorable fare and charming personality put it at the top of the lunchtime heap.

Roger’s Ice Cream & Burgers

Roger’s Ice Cream & Burgers
1224 Sherman Ave.,
Coeur d’Alene, 765-5419.

“Quick! Grab it before your teacher sees it!” I whispered to the little girl. She was glaring teary-eyed in shock and sadness at her just-dropped chocolate ice cream cone on the sidewalk, which seemed to be looking up at her like it would hop back up into her hand on its own free will if it could. She was among a group of about twenty hyperactive preschool-aged “Art Camp” kids and two very frantic “Art Camp” teachers still all dressed up in their Kiddie Parade outfits. They’d decided to besiege an already busy Roger’s Ice Cream moments before my arrival.

The little girl gave me a quick wide-eyed glance and went for it, rescuing her rapidly melting treat in the nick of time. “Five second rule, it’ll be alright,” I told her, but she was already too far gone back into her ice cream to care, detachedly covering her face and hair with chocolate goo as if it were one of her Art Camp projects.

I listened to each and every one of those kids approach the girl at the walk-up window and order their ice cream. “Um…I’ll have a…uh…um…vanilla!” After the long, grueling moments of indecision, almost every kid would pick plain old vanilla, with only a couple of token chocolates thrown into the mix. When one brave boy climbed up to the window and ordered a scoop of bubblegum, I wanted to applaud him for his sheer vision and ingenuity.

Certainly, the kids had plenty to choose from. Roger’s doesn’t offer quite as many flavor options as some of the national chains, but here quality trumps quantity. Many flavors are made from scratch locally, with the addition of popular favorites from Denali Flavors such as Caramel Caribou and Bear Claw. Also on hand is the vanilla peanut butter-fudge swirl of Moose Tracks, the flavor that prompted former VP candidate Sarah Palin to say it was “near and dear to my heart”, but you don’t have to let that stop you from enjoying it.

New owner Mark Randolph has done a mighty terrific public service by resurrecting Roger’s from real estate oblivion, after it sat painfully empty for an entire summer last year. Long time locals and in-the-know visitors alike were beginning to seriously worry that the historic walk-up eatery had become a thing of the past, destined to be torn down and replaced by pricey townhouses or yet another Home Depot. For decades the place was known as the Dairy De-Lite, and it was the headquarters for several generations of neighborhood residents seeking cheap sustenance and old-fashioned refreshment on hot, lazy afternoons on the way to and from the beach.

The original Roger’s Ice Cream was born in Moscow in 1940, eventually relocating to Coeur d’Alene for a stint at the corner of 4th and Sherman. It finally took over the current spot from Dairy De-Lite in 1992 with very few noticeable changes. Similarly, Randolph has managed to erase the memory of Roger’s hiatus by leaving things virtually the same, including the classic red and white exterior, the cheerfully adept teenage staff and the uncomplicated burger selections. The menu’s lack of variety is refreshing in a fast food world where too many multiple choices results in a form of mental block known as Jack in the Box syndrome.

Available options include a single plain burger or cheeseburger, of course. Then there’s the Double-D with two patties and cheese, the Triple-D with three patties and cheese, and I had to ask the counter girl just to make sure, but yes indeed, the .44 Caliber burger includes 4 beef patties and cheese piled high on a bun. Fries are available in one size only, and that’s the extent of the food menu other than Randolph’s healthful new additions of a Turkey Burger and a Veggie Burger.

The gaggle of preschoolers finally cleared out and I placed my order. Between the radio and the chaos of cookery, the noise level in the tiny kitchen was so intense I had clarify after the counter girl looked at me sideways and said “uh, sorry, we don’t have ribs.” I smiled and said it a little louder; “I’ll have a Double-D with fries and a Mr. Pibb.” We laughed and I added on a scoop of homemade Huckleberry Ice Cream.

I grabbed one of the picnic tables in the shady covered outdoor patio and wrapped my fingers around my Double-D burger. A Roger’s burger can be a messy beast; the patties sprawl outside of the borders of the bun and the shredded lettuce and tomato slices are piled high. There’s a dense layer of a thick, white spread made from (I think) whipped mayo and cream cheese. The beef itself is sizzled up on a well-seasoned grill and tastes comfortingly home-cooked. My fries were pretty much cold but still tasted great. Thin, crispy, golden brown potato strips with skin deliciously intact and salted so well I retain water just thinking about them.

The grand finale was the ice cream cone, a scoop of rich homemade vanilla blended with what our local Stickman refers to as “Purple Gold,” sweet, plump Huckleberries. I was so enrapt in its tangy goodness, I had to stop myself from smearing it all over my face and hair, and if I’d accidentally dropped it on the dirty sidewalk, I’d have just picked it up and kept eating. Five second rule, you know.