World AIDS Day/NIAC Benefit @ Calypsos

Calypso's Queen Michell Remley writes:

"A few weeks ago I met with two amazing women and learned about an incredible organization that not only needs support but also wants to support.

Every day and every week I get calls, emails, and letters requesting donations. We try to give where we can… but as a new business it is hard. Even harder is the heavy feeling we carry for not being able to give to ALL who ask. So let me tell you how amazing it was to meet these two selfless women who not only came to us without conditions, but came to us ready to give not take.

I am talking about Amy and Tarena from NIAC. The North Idaho AIDS Coalition is a nonprofit community based organization providing care, prevention, and advocacy to those infected or affected by HIV/AIDS. The theme of this year's World AIDS Day 2008 is "Leadership. Stop AIDS. Keep the Promise".

So am asking you, Calypsos Supporters to come out and support this cause and organization on December 1^st here at Calypsos. You won't be disappointed.

So much will be happening that day....

Live Music by Christopher Lucas 6pm

Every latte or mocha purchased that day Calypsos will give $1 towards NIAC.

Candle lighting, raffle prizes, too much to list..."

Thrift Store Update

Sifting Through the Thrift Scene Deux

The last time I did a round-up of the local thrift scene, I ended up in a bit of hot water with a certain fine charitable organization. Among other things, I casually referred to some of the women who volunteer their time and energy at the Hospice Thrift Store on North 4th Street in Coeur d’Alene as being, well, let’s just say not-so-young and frequently less-than-cordial. The backlash included a series of angry emails, including one saying that my comments were “absolutely as disagreeable as your fat face” and also a letter to the editor of the Coeur d’Alene Press (wrong newspaper, but they printed it anyway) berating me for hassling those who care for the sick and dying while neglecting to note that I was actually referring solely to their thrift store. While I stood my ground saying it was merely an opinion piece, I still felt a wee twinge of guilt.

So there’s something I need to get out of the way before I go any further with today’s Get Out thrift update: I take back all my snarky comments about the Hospice store. I recently built up the nerve to revisit the place and found it to be much improved. The ladies who rang up my purchase were smiling and very friendly, and although I’d brought cash, I noticed they finally had installed a credit card reader, something I had scolded them about before. That day I found some wonderful ceramic Polynesian lady heads and a couple of old Motown records in pristine condition. All the outmoded, dust-gathering Betamax and 8-track players were gone, and they’ve got the biggest section of sewing and crafts gear I’ve ever seen in a second hand store. Cheers to store volunteers and management who’ve transformed this formerly low-ranking thrift stop into one of the best currently around.

A block south of the Hospice Store is the newly-relocated Thriftique, another contender for coolest thrift store in the region, from which all proceeds go to fund Lake City Community Church‘s global aid missions. Manager Scott Gittel and his crew seem a touch more selective in what they sell than some of the others. The front area of the store resembles a plush living room, with smoke-free household items and décor that actually conjures a sense of modernity and not painful memories of forgotten design eras. In other words, if you’re searching for macramé owls, floral naugahyde pillows or rust-shag mushroom stools, you might be out of luck. The floor here is made of a very bumpy stone tile which causes my shopping cart to loudly rattle my teeth and bones as I push it around the room, an effect I oddly enjoy. It’s organized but random at the same time, the way all good thrift shops should be, and it makes a perfect addition to the north end of Midtown.

Post Falls has had a spurt of new thrift shops open up in the last few years. The Goodwill on Seltice Way is only about a third of the size of its Coeur d’Alene counterpart, but manages to boil things down to the necessary essentials in a refreshing way. Clothing wise, Goodwill stores seem to have a knack for filtering out anything that’s not at least vaguely hip and they carry a lot of like-new designer-name items at fashionably reasonable prices. I’ve always had good luck with finding really great weird stuff here. An ashtray with a cartoon of a frowning, grizzled smoker rasping the words “Smoking is Glamorous”; a gaudy framed print by 60’s mass-market art legend Vladimir Tretchikoff; a coffee-table book of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker; an autographed t-shirt of Jimmy “JJ” Walker signed “to Pookie.” Either I leave here completely mind-blown by my big thrift coup or I walk away empty handed; it just depends on the mood of the fickle Gods of Thrift.

They rarely smile down on me at the Post Falls Thrift Center, which recently changed charities from the Senior Center to TESH. The store itself remains unchanged, still over-cluttered with faded flannel fashions, grungy 70’s furniture and Avon knick knacks. The book section always looks like a bomb went off and they’ve got all their records shoved in tight racks near the bottom shelf. One has to be a very devoted vinyl hound to spread out on the dirty floor and browse, and I do it despite the occasional odd look. It was at this store I became forever paranoid about buying used pots and pans after a wide-eyed woman accosted me one day as I placed a perfectly fine looking frying pan in my shopping cart. “Oh no!” she huffed, “You can’t buy that one. It’s got aluminum in it; you’ll get Alzheimer’s disease!” She proceeded to dig through the shelves and point out to me all the various health hazards associated with each item, making me wonder if it was really her tinfoil hat creating all the problems.

The Kootenai Humane Society has recently opened a new shop across Seltice Way from the Trading Co. grocery store. It was still pretty sparse when I visited but it has the potential to live up to the high standard set by it’s Coeur d’Alene sister shop, a store which continually wins my award for best book department. A few doors down in the same strip mall is the Real Life Church Thrift Store, where I can’t recall ever buying anything, although it’s worth a visit just to see the Museum of Laughably Dated Technology they host in the back room. If you’re still way into Windows 95, this is the place for you.

With the economy shriveled up like a fig in a fruitcake, there’s never been a better time to consider the idea of stretching your Christmas shopping budget by investigating the thriving local thrift scene. Not only can you find some unique, retro holiday décor, but if you’ve got a good eye, you can find items for under the tree as well. While you might want to avoid buying your loved ones used underwear or pink shag toilet rugs, lightly used books can actually be some of the best thrift gift items you can find. If they’re in nice, cherry condition, no one would ever be the wiser that you paid only a buck for that Rachael Ray cookbook or Matisse coffee table tome. Whether the collector on your list is into Coca-Cola crap, Elvis kitsch or troll dolls, searching the funky clutter of our local thrift shops for the perfect present could even leave you with a few dollars left over for a that polyester disco outfit you found at St.Vinny’s. It’ll be the perfect thing to wear to the party on New Years Eve.

Monday Music: The Pop Eccentric

Name: The Pop Eccentric
Hometown: Coeur d'Alene, ID
Formed: 2007
Description:
"We like making noise... Pure and well thought out simplicity.
Raw dynamic fuzza-sonic chaotic sporadic neurotic eccentric transgressive sounds that ring to the ear. " - Pop Eccentric MySpace

This rather mysterious Cd'A gang makes an especially lovely brand of droning primarily instrumental psychedelic rock that divines inspiration equally from the trippy 60's (think the Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows"), the experimental 70's as well as the underground dream-pop of the 80's, ultimately sounding like a jammier My Bloody Valentine or a way noisier Ummagumma-era Pink Floyd. Definitely one of Cd'A's most unique young bands and they've already made a name for themselves in Spokane's flourishing New Shoegaze scene that seems to have gained prominence in the Lilac City of late.

They've even been mentioned favorably in the pages of the Inlander a few times recently for their very loud, trance-inducing gigs. I'd love to see a hometown show but where? Most venues here are set up for intimate acoustic guitarists strumming all folksy-like, not the waves of crashing guitar noise and feedback created by the Pop Eccentric. For now you'll have to head west and catch them at one of their SpoVegas gigs like the one at the Caterina Winery as advertised in the flyer to the left. For now follow this link to download mp3s of a weird, warpy sounding cassette recording of an excellent recent gig. Get into a recording studio, my sweets, and pronto!

Band Members:
Miguel - Guitar, Synth
Brenan - Guitar, Synth
Tyler - Guitar, Synth, Bass
Brianne - Drums, Vocals

Inspiration:
Cluster, Brian Eno, The Fall, John Cage, Joao Gilberto, Ray Davies, Polvo, Stereolab, Devo, Bruce Haack, Steve Reich, Roland Kirk, Raymond Scott, tortoise, Television, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Nick Drake, the ocean, Broadcast, Cocteau Twins, Faust, drum machines, Slowdive, lush, Sonic Youth, My Bloody Valentine, Kraftwerk, Neu!, Boards of Canada, Joy Division, Deerhoof, Xiu Xiu, the brian jonestown massacre, the black angels, Beck, the telescopes, The Clientele, Blonde Redhead, neon lights, alcohol, outerspace, coffee, and some other stuff.

Web Links:
Pop Eccentric MySpace

MP3: (Right-click and Save)
Song for Another Day
We Will Live in the Space Age

Pinewood Care Center Thanksgiving

Pinewood Care Center
2517 N. 7th St,
Coeur d'Alene
664-8128

Every Thanksgiving, our family is spoiled rotten. We spend all year salivating like animals, fantasizing about the culinary joy of my mother’s annual feast. We dream of a humorously large Turkey with crisp golden skin encasing explosive moist flesh and filling the house with agonizingly wonderful aromas. We dream of butter soaked mashed real potatoes, never ever should they or would they come of out of a box. And we dream of sweet yams, baked to the consistency and color of Indian clay and blanketed with a sweet crust of burnt marshmallows.

My mother is truly a Thanksgiving Queen, but of course, at one point she was a mere Turkey Day Princess; it was my grandmother who performed the culinary magic each November for decades. As Grandma got older, merely putting together a green bean casserole became an impossible task and so she handed the hallowed recipes down to the family. It was finally revealed that my grandmother’s much speculated-about “secret” gravy recipe we’d all raved about for years was really just a few jars of store-bought generic gravy with some of the turkey goop thrown in for good measure. We were shocked. No one had ever seen so much as an empty jar. She must have worked hard hiding the evidence all those years.

A while back, my mother horrified everyone after deciding for some inexplicable reason that turkey and all the fixings were a terribly boring Thanksgiving cliché, and that Vegetarian Lasagna was where it was at. It was a killer Lasagna and everyone tried to act polite, but naturally we were left feeling unsatisfied on a basic level, like we’d arrived at Oktoberfest and were told there was no beer, only soy milk.

Last Thanksgiving, we freaked out after my mom announced she was taking the year off and that all twelve of us would be joining my grandmother in the cafeteria at Pinewood Care Center where she resides. Certainly, it was nice to spend the occasion with Grandma, who doesn’t get out and about at all these days, but the ambiance of the place was truly less-than-cheery what with so many in attendance looking quite ready to cough hard for the last time and go face-down for good into the gravy. At the time, everyone joked that I should do one of my write-ups on the place, never thinking that I’d ever actually follow through with the idea.

One would think that coffee would flow freely in any respectable nursing home, but for some reason at Pinewood it was like liquid gold. We asked multiple times for a nice cup of Joe to no avail, until finally my aunt and I decided to sneak off on a mission. We began sniffing down the hallways like hound dogs, hoping to pick up the scent of something hot and fresh brewed, soon realizing that we couldn’t smell a thing except that thickly antiseptic facility smell. We peeked in break rooms and lounges looking for any evidence of java but still no luck.

We returned just in time to see one of the nurses pouring a very watery brown liquid into tiny paper cups, making sure to fill each just a hair over half full. We took it like a shot of cheap whiskey, slamming our Dixie cups loudly on the folding table for dramatic effect. One of the nurses got the hint and returned a few moments later with an hygienic pink plastic mini-carafe of the weak stuff just for our table, winking proudly as if she’d managed to procure something truly rare and special.

Our meals with their round grey resin lids looked like mini-UFOs, and they began swooping in for a landing on Planet Pinewood. In an attempt to mask our disappointment about my mom’s decision to bag Thanksgiving in favor of the nursing home, we’d been joking for weeks about how potentially bad the food was going to be. I was predicting something akin to a TV dinner, something closer to Swansons than Marie Callendars. The final reality surprised us slightly, rising a few notches above our low expectations, managing to straddle the border between semi-edible and harmlessly bland. A form of Communism is alive and well in certain nursing homes, and everyone gets the same exact meal no matter if you’re rich or poor, 9 or 99, perfectly fit or crippled with disease. In order to cater to the dietary needs of the residents, there’s no trace of butter, no salt, no dairy, no sugar, no spice, no flavor.

My aunt must have dined there before. Smartly, she’d smuggled in a set of salt and pepper shakers. “Shhh” she whispered, handing them to me under the table “Don’t let anyone see these or we’ll start a riot.” I shuddered as I pictured flavor-starved residents attacking us with their walkers for a few sprinkles of the good stuff. All the colors on my plate seemed distinctly washed out, faded like an early color photograph. If an artist were to paint a reproduction, they’d want to put a lot of ecru on their palette, a little grey-green and a dab of drab purple for the cranberry blob.

The turkey itself was fortunately extracted from an actual turkey, rather than from a dreaded turkey loaf, and with a little of the contraband salt and pepper, tasted alright, if a bit dry. Nothing could spark life into the mashed potatoes and gravy, which were like counterfeit KFC but without the luxury of a spork. The neat scoop of cornbread dressing crumbled at the touch like a hundred-year old popcorn ball but the green beans were an unexpected highlight, still retaining most of their flavor and enhanced with chunky bits of actual bacon.

My finicky teenage cousin was so totally over the whole thing that she chose to eat only dinner rolls smeared with greasy Promise spread. I felt kind of sorry for her so I donated my roll to her cause. The wee food portions were intended for residents as well, and we cleared our plates way too rapidly, sinking with the realization that we couldn’t go back for a second or third round. Astoundingly, a nurse came through to collect our six-dollar cover charge right directly in the middle of our meal time, tapping her foot impatiently as we all struggled to dig out some cash.

A sad sliver of grocery store pumpkin pie evaporated in five bites and then it was time for me to give hugs all around and make my exit. Although the cuisine may not have been anywhere near on par with Mom’s, I left feeling roundly satisfied. I might not have become stuffed with food, but I was remarkably full of thanks to have had the good fortune to be able to enjoy the holiday together with family, no matter what location.

Bread Crumbs: Random Bits & Mail Bag

Huzzah! Huzzah! Viva la Longboard. You Rathdrumites sure are some lucky kids now that Longboard Burgers are opening their 2nd store ever in your booming metropolis. Already a popular secret in the A&D Mart on 4th and Appleway in Cd'A, they'll start serving up some of North Idaho's most fantastic burgers and fries starting December 1st in the former A&W in Rathrdrum near Steins IGA. With the equally delish Burger Heaven just a fig toss away, we'd better be prepared for a great big Burger Harmonic Convergence right there in the middle of Highway 41.

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Dear Get Out!
Sometimes you do not add an insert with restaurant name and specific address. Very frustrating for "new to neighborhood."

Judy Alder

Dear Judy,
No offense my dear, but open your little' ol' peepers. In the paper, look in the little box that says "If you go..." and voila! Ze address. On this site, look at the tippety top of each column and voila! Ze address. As far as you not being able to figure out the name of the restaurant I'm reviewing, I suggest therapy. Also, don't forget Google is your friend.

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O'Shays Irish Pub has been running an amusing advert in the CDA Press lately featuring a smiling blonde bombshell with the headline "We're Raising the Bar, By Putting Bo Behind It." and goes on to describe new manager Bo as a gal who "knows a thing or two about running a proper Irish pub" and that "With Bo on board, we're so cool we can barely stand it." Oh, realllly? Where's dear Michelle who was the manager when I popped in O'Shays open mike night for one of my very first Get Out columns a few years back?

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The white butcher paper that was wrapped around the windows of the Moose Market at 4th & Sherman for a few weeks has been removed to reveal...that the lounge part moved into the store part. Last I checked, the paper remained over the former lounge windows, so who knows if the store idea is gone for good or just being reformatted. When they announced a few years ago they were opening a "grocery store" downtown, I pictured something closer to a quickie mart where people could go for their day-to-day needs and thought it was a great idea. Turns out it was basically just another tourist-geared novelty shop with expensive "local gourmet" products that sat and gathered dust. The Moose Lounge (or is there a new name in the works?) seems to have been much more lively, and I'm glad the owners decided to refocus and perk up Cd'A's night life with another pub/club right on downtown's busiest corner.

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Dear Get Out!

I was very pleasantly surprised to see that you had joined our Country Boy family for an unforgettable chicken fried steak breakfast ( "one of the best to ever cross your radar"). The review you gave us was awesome and really brought a lot of new friends into visit us for a unique eating experience of their own. I was very surprised when one of my "regulars" showed me your review and I realized I had waited on you myself that dark rainy Sunday, and was immensely pleased that it brightened up your day! We love what we do here at the Country Boy Cafe and look forward to feeding you and "Q & A" when you get up in our neck of the woods again sometime. Thanks for the great review, Rosie, Kurt, Scott (aka "Steve"), Sue, and the rest of our tremendously hard working crew!

Thanks, Rosie. I still for the life of me can't figure out why I mistakenly referred to your Scott as "Steve" in my review. Silliness, especially since I had "Scott" written down in all my notes and on the menu. You wouldn't believe how many folks approached me after that column ran and told me they were already huge fans of your place or that they'd been for the first time after reading it and were blown away by your food. Y'all got something pretty darn special going on up there - keep it up! Unfortunately, there's always gotta be an ass:

Dear Get Out!
Re: Country Boy in Athol. Worst breakfast ever !! Especially the chicken fried steak! Were we at the same place ? If you want a wonderful breakfast go to the Fly Shop in Craig, Montana.

John Richards

Well well, John. You have a black, black heart if that gigantic deep fried, gravy smothered treat didn't turn you on. As for Craig, Montana aka "Trout Town", looks like a nice place to spend the evening drinking cheap beer in a dark, smoky tavern. Were you referring to the Trout Shop Cafe? Indeed, looks like a good place to nurse that hangover the next morn.

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A block north of Sherman on 4th Street is the new Morgio's sandwich shop and I've already put a curse on the place. Last week, we walked downtown for a bite and decided to try out an $8.99 "high-end" sandwich only to be greeted a by a door sign chasing away potential customers with the slogan "Cash only, no credit or debit accepted." Well kids, it's the new millennium as the cliche goes and some of us debitheads don't carry much cash. There are plenty of other places to get a sandwich between your front door and the ATM. Actually, I've yet to hear any feedback about their food, positive or negative. Anyone?

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Just because Jack Frost has swept in with his steely nipple clamps and his Blue Raspberry Slurpee breath, doesn't mean the fun has to end for the Farmer's Market faithful. This year they decided to move the whole thing inside the Resort Plaza Shops every Saturday from 11 a.m.to 3 p.m. for the winter and carry on as normal. Brilliant idea. Along with the awesome new Wild Idaho Chocolate Co., for the first time in a long time there are now a few logical reasons to visit the Plaza Shops. Penny candy, knitted dog sweaters, hideous Kincaid paintings, lamb burgers, fresh flowers. All under one copper roof.

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Dear Get Out,

First, let me say that my husband and I enjoy your column so very much - not only for the interesting restaurant reviews, but for some of the local lore which seems to accompany most columns in one way or another. As we've been here only about 12 years, reading about Coeur d'Alene from a few years earlier than that is always interesting and amusing!

My reason for e-mailing you is this - we had dinner last week at a wonderful little restaurant in Hayden and I don't believe you've ever written about them. If you did, I missed it and I seldom miss your column, but I suppose it's possible. The name is Kynrede Cafe and it's on Government Way directly across from IIB in a little brown house. We had been told many times that the food was simply wonderful and we finally decided to see for ourselves - and we weren't disappointed! The restaurant is small and intimate with mix & match vintage furniture, maybe a dozen tables, if that. Soft Celtic music plays in the background and you can actually carry on a conversation without shouting to be heard.

The wine list is impressive, and though service is a bit lackluster and the paper placemats are off-putting, we will go there again and again - FOR THE FOOD!!!! The calamari was long tender strips, so crispy, and the sauce is the chef's own recipe and it's amazing. I had liver and onions - not usually digestible in most restaurants, but here, perfectly cooked and so tender I could cut it with a fork. My husband had the coconut prawns - they were huge and again, as delicately breaded as the calamari and fried to perfection! I usually don't eat my vegetables in most restaurants because they are either overcooked and lifeless on the plate, or though cooked fairly well, are absolutely tasteless - rather like green cardboard. These were sauteed in a bit of bacon fat (be still my beating heart!) and caramelized and I actually ate all the veggies before I finished the liver!

We spoke with the chef/owner Jesse, and told him how impressed we were with his cuisine and he was very pleasant and just a 'normal guy' who obviously loves cooking and serving sumptuous food. If you've never been there, I encourage you to try this wonderful little spot, and if you have, then please go again and get the word out about this gem hidden in Hayden. There were only 6 other people there the night we dined, and I'm afraid that he may not be around very long if he doesn't get more business - I don't think he does any advertising. As a business owner, I do understand the importance of getting the word out - and as a lover of great food, I'd like to see this guy stick around for a long time!

Thanks for listening... and keep up the good work!

Kathleen Bergeron

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Rumor has it The Torch Lounge at 3rd and Cd'A Ave. is planning on hosting drag queen cabaret shows beginning next year and several of the Dempsey's Divas from Spokane have signed up, including the infamous Courtenay Cocks as well as a few random local amateur "girls". You wouldn't really expect a bar that's known for it's gyrating bikini girls and hard rock to be so gung-ho about hosting drag queens but the idea has wild potential. I could imagine tourists would love something like that, but the Torch will need to keep it from being crass and tacky and do something with a bit of class. It'll be interesting to see who shows up.

Schlotzsky’s Deli

Schlotzsky’s Deli
210 W. Ironwood Dr.,
Coeur d’Alene,
765-4121.

Hipper Than Hip and Trippin' on Rye

The classic rock radio being piped in overhead clashed not unpleasantly with the modern rock radio emanating from the kitchen. From where I sat, both were approximately equal in volume. The Cars’ “Let's Go” cruised in the backseat with Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida” which marched shoulder-to-shoulder with the Beach Boys’ “Good Vibrations” which surfed nicely in top of Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” and so on.

Normally, hearing different two songs at the same time makes me as cranky and irritable as a McCain voter, but on this occasion the musical mish-mash seemed to work. That dark, rainy eve Schlotzsky’s was remarkably comfortable, peaceful and still, and as I sat nursing a cold with steamy cups of Cheesy Broccoli soup and mentally combining the two music sources into one new fascinatingly chaotic tune, I began to wonder if I’d accidentally doubled my last dose of Dristan.

It’s the same dreamy feeling I get every time I visit Schlotzsky’s. Regular readers know I don’t like to spend a lot of ink on chain-style eateries, but I’ve yet to find any delis in town that keep me coming back the way Schlotzsky’s does, and the owners of the local franchise of the Texas-based deli are North Idahoan all the way. I’ve been frequenting the place since it was christened in 1997, and even through the fog of cold medication, I can’t recall having had anything but fine food and outstanding customer service. The smiling, hospitable crew that runs the show here are younger, hipper, and way better looking than you and I. Cool, modish fashion trends hide underneath work aprons and edgy haircuts are tucked into black Schlotzsky’s visors.

The hipness factor is so thick they’ve even named their current “limited engagement” promotion after the phenomenon. “Hip Chick” describes a trio of chicken sandwiches, and is also the phrase worn quite descriptively on the t-shirt of the counter girl, the perfect choice to go with her tan corduroy hip-huggers. I’m not sure how au courant my decision to go for a medium sized pastrami and Swiss was, but it was something I hadn’t tried and it sounded like a nice way to accompany my usual cup of soup.

I was lucky that night because the pot of Broccoli & Cheddar Cheese soup was hot, fresh and full. Schlotzsky’s always has terrific soup, and they’re kind enough to allow all-you-can-eat action (just get a fresh cup each time, as I was once sternly reminded by a germ-conscious employee). It’s obvious which variety is my fave, but they also make an awesome Chicken Tortilla Soup, a soul-warming Navy Bean Soup, and an awesome spicy Chili, among dozens of others. Typically, they have 3-4 soup choices on offer at a time, all in a well-stocked serve-yourself area.

Schlotzsky’s sandwiches themselves are unlike those served anywhere else primarily due to the use of a unique form of bread which could accurately be described as a giant, ultra-soft English muffin. The bun is piled high with meats, cheeses and other hip ingredients, then the whole affair is oven toasted to melded perfection, halved and served. “The Original” is the one that started it all at the first Schlotzsky’s back in Austin in 1971. It’s ham, Genoa and Cotto salamis with melted cheddar, mozzarella and parmesan cheeses on Sourdough with black olives, red onion, tomato, lettuce, and the ubiquitous “special sauce” that adorns nearly every “fresh-from-scratch” sandwich on the menu. “The Texas Schlotzsky’s” scorches taste buds with ham, cheddar and jalapenos on a jalapeno cheese bread, and the Turkey Guacamole on wheat is like summer in Puerto Vallarta. The Asian Chicken wrap is another frequent favorite of mine with its killer combo of Japanese tonkatsu and sweet chili sauce.

Also worth consideration is the quad of Angus beef sandwiches, the albacore tuna or the Fresh Veggie with spicy ranch dressing. Bagged chips are available as a side or as part of a “meal deal” and the fresh-baked cookies are a delicious deal at 45 cents each. Schlotzsky’s also serves a selection of first-rate individual pizzas, including the much-loved Thai Chicken Pizza. Consisting of grilled chicken breast, mozzarella, basil pesto and Thai peanut sauce and sprinkled with julienne carrots, cilantro, and green onions, I find myself inclined to order it every time I visit, but resist for fear of burnout.

“Angus” is a manly man’s word, bringing to mind images of thick, glowering cattle or maybe AC/DC guitarist Angus Young in his schoolboy uniform. I felt a slight rush of machismo (although it could have been the cold meds) as I ordered the Angus Pastrami and Swiss but it was quickly deflated when I arrived at the pick-up window only to come to the horrific revelation that my sandwich was served on dark rye bread. Ugh! I’m not known for being tremendously picky, but the flavor of rye is one thing I hadn’t been able to stand since I was a kid. I’d rather be a trouper than a complainer so I decided to give it a taste anyway. It had been many moons since I’d decided rye was the enemy and after a few bites I realized it was actually pretty okay.

After a few more bites I completely forgot about why I ever avoided rye bread in the first place, my mind drifting off to a happy land of peppery pastrami, melted swiss and tangy mustard, a very hip land where two different radio songs combine magically together in discordant harmony. Let’s call it Dristanland.

Chow List: 18 Oddly Named Local Eateries

1. Wily Widgeon Cafe 126 W. Main St., Hope
"What's a widgeon" you ask? Quack quack. I wonder if Daffy's on the menu too?

2. Nosworthy's Hall of Fame 4045 N.Government Way, Cd'A
Born as the Ground Round way back in 1974, this cult fave was renamed Nosworthy's by owner Dale Nosworthy in tribute to owner Dale Nosworthy. Nosworthy's MySpace.

3. PauPau's Kitchen 9751 N. Government Way, Hayden
PauPau was actually the lovely proprietress June's GrandMauMau. Always reminds me of the rock-n-roll oldie "Surfin Bird" by the Trashmen. Paupau-ooom-mao-mao, paupau-oo-mao-mao-mao.

4. Kynrede Cafe 8885 N. Government Way, Hayden
"What does kynrede mean" you ask? It's Chaucerian for "Kindred." Loke that it be stondyng.

5. Chic-N-Chop 6421 Main St, Bonners Ferry
The word "Chic" makes it sound like a refashioned clothing store. The word "Chop" makes me feel a little sorry for the sad fate of the poultry. Bye-bye appetite.

6. Cafe Carambola 610 W. Hubbard, Cd'A
"What's a Carambola" you ask? Starlight, starbright, first starfruit I see tonight.

7. Pita Pit Various Locations
Always excellent, but for the uninitiated, the name tends to evoke lurid images of ripe, hairy underarms. Bye-bye appetite.

8. Serv-a-Burger 907 N 5th Ave., Sandpoint
As opposed to it's sister drive-in, "Get-It-Yer-Damn-Self-a-Burger"

9. Hog-n-Jog 32471 North 5th Avenue, Spirit Lake
Are they suggesting a) that I go jogging right after I eat, potentially resulting in painful stomach cramps or b) the chef has to chase down some poor innocent pig out back to butcher in cold blood for that night's special? Either way, bye-bye appetite.

10. The "Original" Mongolian BBQ 3213 N. Government Way
Yo, don't be hatin'. This is the O.G. Monglolian BBQ, not no ghetto wannabe, knowwhatimsayin'?

11. Lil' Polpetta 1735 W. Kathleen Ave. Cd'A
"What does Polpetta mean" you ask? On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

12. Mamasan's AmerAsian Grill, Cedar Street Bridge, Sandpoint
"What's a Mamasan" you ask? A mamasan is basically a Japanese version of Heidi Fleiss. Or should that be Suzie Wong?

13. Schlotzsky's 210 W. Ironwood, Cd'A
An 11 letter word with only one true vowel and a sometimes y that sounds like what'd happen if one sneezed too hard with a weak bladder. Bye-bye appetite. (Actually I love this place and wrote a full review for this coming Saturday's column.)

14. Sandwedges 3780 W. Fairway Dr., Cd'A
Cute golf reference but it also makes me think of tight swimwear getting stuck deep inside sandy asscracks at the beach. Bye-bye appetite.

15. High Nooner 3510 N. Government Way, Cd'A
Isn't noon a little bit early to be getting high? You should at least wait until The Simpsons comes on. And what about that lunchtime quickie. Naughty naughty.

16. Pizza Schmizza 2384 N. Old Mill Loop, Cd'A
A cross between a playground taunt and the digestive sound effects of a rare Venezualan stomach virus. Bye-bye appetite. Beware the alligator sausage.

17. Qdoba 204 W. Ironwood Dr., Cd'A
Belly-busting Colorado-based burrito chain started out as Zteca but Azteca sued. Switched to another silly made-up meaningless name beginning with an obscure consonant.

18. Blimpies 476999 Highway 95, Ponderay
Always brings to mind a gluttenous, overfed state of being, bloated from bread and soda pop, an irritable bowel unpleasantly full of gas, ready like the Hindenberg to cramp up and go down in flames. Bye-bye appetite.

Monday Music: Black Happy

Name: Black Happy
Hometown: Coeur d'Alene, ID
Formed: 1989 Disbanded: 1994
Biography: Black Happy began as a Christian heavy metal band named Sacramen in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. After a novelty funk song with a horn section became more popular than their normal repertoire, the group reorganized as the funk/metal Black Happy with guitarists Greg Hjort and Paul Hemenway, lead singer Paul Hemenway and bass player Mark Hemenway joined by drummers Scott Jessick and Jim Bruce, trombonists Jay Carkhuff and Mike Hasseries, and saxophonist Daryl Elmore.

The new group recorded a 7-inch single and signed to the Pacific Inland label, which released debut album Friendly Dog Salad in 1991. Two years later, Black Happy signed with Macola, recording the Peghead full-length and the EP Shoveljerk. Despite sold-out shows throughout the Northwest and the attention of most major labels, the group splintered in late 1994, with Paul Hemenway, Mark Hemenway and Greg Hjort re-forming as Shoveljerk. In late 1995, Capricorn Records released The Last Polka, a collection of live tracks and outtakes. ~ John Bush, All Music Guide

Web Links:
www.myspace.com/blackhappy2
Black Happy at All Music

Misc. Web Commentary:
"As a teenager growing up in the Pacific NW, it wasn't Nirvana or Pearl Jam that everyone was listening to. It was all Black Happy for us. The best concerts by far."
"These guys continue to be on of my favorite bands. They rocked live!"
"Dude that guy is my religion teacher in school....the Hemmenway guy is"
"I worked with Black Happy for the better part of two years...if there is any NW band from the early 90s that should reunite for one show it is Black Happy."
"There has been NO bands that even resemble these guys. I hope they know people still talk about them all the time. They should do one more show... at least if they can round up 9 guys, remember their songs AND get along."
"My first concert ever was Black Happy when they played in the TriCities area, Eastern Washington, right after the release of Peghead. I will forever miss them, no band was so full of rock and yet so kind."

MP3: (Right-click and Save)
Bullmonkey
Mrs.Berri

Video: "Mumbo Jumbo" (Live Seattle Paramaount/Greenstock Aug. 1992)

Connie’s Café & Lounge

Connie’s Café & Lounge
323 Cedar St., Sandpoint,
255-2227.

You Don't Miss Your Water When Its Gravy

The rain-drenched Sandpoint streets were as eerily absent of people as the creeks and beaches that surround the town were lacking in water. Q. and I were spending a recent grey Sunday afternoon milling around North Idaho’s hippest city and we were bothered by how the normally lush waterways seemed to have run completely dry, outlining the lake edges with ugly patches of brown dirt and sand. Entire docks and marina systems were sitting on the dry lake bottom. A troupe of beeping numismatists with metal detectors hunted for treasures in places where they would normally find themselves twenty feet under the surface of Lake Pend Oreille. Was this tragic state of Sandpoint’s aquatic beauty a natural, normal occurrence, we wondered, or had something gone terribly wrong?

When Connie’s Café and Lounge locked its doors indefinitely in 2006 people felt a similar sense of unease. It just wasn’t right, such a classic and beloved gathering place once bustling with friendly faces, now just sitting there empty. After all, Connie’s had been attracting diners and drinkers from far and wide with its kitschy corner sign since evolving from a gas station into Conrad Balch’s Café in 1955. That massive sign, resplendent with red neon, campy retro typefaces and Vegas glamour is as much a part of the Sandpoint landscape as the creeks and lakeshores themselves. Having been a guiding light downtown for over fifty years, it was as unsettling to see it dark as it was to see dry land where ducks once swam.

Fortunately, former employees Jenny Jaeger and Donna Brundage felt the same way and after some fresh paint therapy and a menu overhaul, reopened Connie’s in May of last year. The girls knew what worked on the original menu and what didn’t so they were able to save some popular old favorites while making room for some much-needed updates. As far as menu specifics, I can only be vague and work from memory. Annoyingly, I lost the photocopy of the menu that our waitress so graciously provided me with after putting it down to snap photos of the neon sign and driving off without it.

The family-style menu is large and varied, full of delicious sounding things with cute, interesting names which, unfortunately, I can’t quite recall. There are oodles of yummy breakfast options, including the usual staples as well as some standout specialty omelets and skillets. I do remember seeing the Mariner Special, which is Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon, but I was in more of a lunch mood. A plethora of burgers and sandwiches are listed, and I recollect seeing a section of lunch wraps, some humongous salads, and some home made soups, chilis and chowders. A quick browse of the dinner menu revealed lots of classic comfort cuisine of the meat and potatoes variety.

I’d felt a need to visit the “boy’s lounge” since leaving Coeur d’Alene 45 minutes earlier, and on my way through the back hallway to the restroom, I paused for a moment to peer through a grated door and check out the goings-on in the attached bar. I could hear drunken voices and the dull clank of pool balls but could see only vague smoky movements in the dark. Suddenly, the door swooshed open and a beer-breath guy in a white cowboy hat nearly knocked me sideways. “Coming in?” he grimaced, leering at me through one good eye. “Um, no. Wrong door.” I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt compelled to discuss a restaurant’s bathroom before, but I have to mention that Connie’s was so scary, so unclean, and so utterly unappetizing that I nearly told Q. we were out of there. The restaurant does share its facilities with sloppy drunk lounge-goers, but that left a bad first impression that’s easy to fix. Clean it, kids!

To their credit, the restaurant area itself seemed sufficiently neat and grunge-free. Q. and I had expected the atmosphere inside to match the retro-camp style of the neon sign, but except for the electric green vinyl-and-chrome barstools, the interior is much more elegant than that. Massive, ornate wooden built-in fixtures, walls cluttered with historic photos, local artwork, and old advertisements, and dim lighting create a lodge-like sense of comfort and relaxation.

It was so quiet in Connie’s that afternoon, just a couple of other tables occupied and a gaggle of very young staff milling around. In fact, I wondered aloud to Q. at one point “Where are the grown-ups?” Not that these kids didn’t do a good job. Service was absolutely great and the food was the most memorable thing of all. I’d ordered “Brian’s Almost Famous BBQ Pork Sandwich” and it was as if the cook had cut a pork tenderloin into huge, rough chunks, tossed them in gobs of thick, homemade barbecue sauce and served them on a fresh, perfectly toasted white bun. It should indeed be famous, it was tangy and tasty and the fries were so good, I had to repeatedly stab Q. with a fork to keep him from snatching them all off my plate.

Q.’s “Tow Truck” was a breakfast mish-mash of eggs, hash browns, peppers, and gravy served in a miniature metal skillet that he said made him “feel special.” Aw. What was truly special was that gravy, which I had to steal several bites of so that I could rank it on the Get Out gravy scale. It was peppery and scrumptious, scoring at least 8 out of 10 for sure. We finished with a huge slice of made-from-scratch chocolate cream pie that was so rich; Q. could only make it three bites deep, leaving me to perform a mercy killing on the rest. Refreshingly simple in execution and presentation, our meals were free from culinary frou-frou but high in flavor and quality. Like Sandpoint’s water level, hopefully we will return someday soon.

Chow List: Seafood Fettuccine

I usually have to be fairly frugal when it comes to dining out, but one thing I have no trouble forking out a lot of crispy green cash for is a good Seafood Fettuccine. I absolutely thrive on shellfish anyway, and you can never go wrong with a pile of nice fresh pasta. The clincher is usually the white sauce. I’m not so much a fan of the full-on creamy Alfredo as much as a thinner, butter and white wine sort of thing. Well, I like it both ways, really. Nothing beats a nice Caesar salad as an opener and a bottomless basket of warm, crusty bread as a co-star. While I’ve tried the dish at many local places, there are some I didn’t even know had it until I started compiling this list. I’m sure there are more places I’ve forgotten, If you know of any please feel free to leave a comment.

1. Tomato Street, 222 W. Appleway, Cd’A
Cost for meal: $16.49
“Why I bother even looking I don’t know, because I always end up ordering my most favorite dish, the same thing I always order if it happens to appear on the menu: the rich, delectable Seafood Fettuccini. It was rich and buttery, not overly heavy, with tender scallops, mammoth prawns, Manila clams, both diced and in-shell and calamari rings that were done perfectly right and not chewy.” – from Get Out 6/21/08

They do the sauce exactly how I like it. This place gets a little koo-koo with too many people so grab a tall corner table in the Lounge area and hide out.

2. Tito Macaroni’s, 115 N. 2nd, Cd’A
Cost $19.99
“Prawns, scallops, calamari, clams and mussels simmered in a light lemon cream and topped with fresh basil pesto and sun-dried tomatoes” – Tito’s menu description.

Can’t really recall if I’ve tried it here or not. I’m sure I must have since I definitely recall eating at Tito’s several times before and SeaFett is my default order in any Italian joint. I remember the bottomless wine bottle, the faux-perky Hagadrones, the long wait. But I don’t remember the meal. Time to sneak in a rectify that, perhaps.

3. The Hydra, 115Lake St., Sandpoint
Cost: $13.95
“Chilean Langostino lobster, sweet scampi, manilla clams, and scallops sautéed in fresh garlic, basil and olive oil with artichoke hearts and black olives. Topped with fresh tomatoes, parmesan cheese, with garlic toast” – Hydra menu description

I’ve never had an opportunity to validate the Fettuccine at this classic Sandpoint steakhouse, but it must be pretty okay, having once received a mention in Sunset Magazine.

4.Ciao Mambo, 8166 N.Government Way, Hayden
Cost: ??
"Frutti di Mare: Shrimp, halibut, clams and mussels sautéed in our marinara and tossed in linguini. Spicy or Mild."- Ciao Mambo menu
"The best were the “Linguini alle Vongole” and the “Frutti di Mare,” packed full of seafood with a crispy, thick slice of bread under the pasta to absorb all the savory sauce." - Laurie J. Rice, Bend Source review

Linguine is close enough to fettuccine in my book, and Ciao Mambo features quite a few pasta dishes featuring various "fruits of the sea" and all look incredible. I still haven't made my way into this Missoula-based Hayden eatery but I've heard nothing but raves so far.

5. Tony's On The Lake, 6823 Cd'A Lake Drive, Cd'A
Cost: $19 / $25
"Speghetti Pescatore: Spaghetti Pasta with Scallops, Shrimp, Mussels, and Fish in a Tomato Vodka Sauce" - Tony's menu

Still miss the old Supper Club era, but word is that the new fancy version of this vintage lake hideaway is pretty fantastic as well. This dish really doesn't have a lot to do with the original SeaFett formula what with the "tomato vodka" action. Actually, the Manacotti al Mare, stuffed with Shrimp. Crab and Lobster topped with a White Clam Sauce for $24 might be closer to the real deal.

6. Angelo's Ristorante, 846 N. 4th, Cd'A
Cost: $25
"Prawns,Sea Scallops, and clam's sauteed with garlic,butter, marinara, and white wine" - Angelo's menu

Angelo's is always amazing, really one of the best places to spend way too much money on unforgettable, soul-satisfying Italian food. It's amazing how they've transformed a dumpy corner spot in an old strip mall into a fantasy trip to the old Italian countryside, as authentic as can be. Normally I turn my nose up at Marinara, but Angelo's version is way loveable, simple and strong and perfect to bring out the flavors of the sea.

7. Elmer's, 300 W. Neider, Coeur d'Alene
Cost: $12.99
"Alaskan King Crab & Shrimp Pasta: Penne Pasta with Alaskan crabmeat and shrimp, sweet red peppers, green peppers and onions, tossed with a creamy Alfredo sauce." - Elmer's Menu

I was at Elmer's not long ago and almost went for this, thinking that the use of penne was intruiging for such a blase chain. Then I noticed the presence of one of arch enemies: the sweet red pepper. Ick! I would have had to pick 'em all out, and that's just not at all hot.

8. Olive Garden, 525 W.Canfield, Coeur d'Alene
Cost: $14.95/$15.50
Seafood Alfredo: Sautéed shrimp and scallops tossed with creamy fettuccine alfredo.

Seafood Portofino: Mussels, scallops, shrimp and mushrooms with linguine in a garlic-butter wine sauce.

It's a guilty pleasure that everyone admits to, yet people are still a little snotty about Olive Garden, They must be doing something right, since the oparking lot is always packed to the limit, day and night. I've had both the above dishes, and while they're perhaps not earth-shatteringly fabulous, they're done well and with the obligatory salad and breadsticks, I've never left feeling anything less than satisfied and full of fish.

9. Crickets Bar and Grill, 424 Sherman Ave., Coeur d'Alene
Cost: $17.95
"Large shrimp and Sea scallops sautéed with minced garlic and tossed in a creamy Alfredo sauce with mushrooms and tomatoes." - Crickets menu

I originally got hooked on SeaFett at the old Henry's Restaurant where I had my first job as a dishwasher. I was 15 and had never even liked seafood until one of the chefs forced me to try a plate of their trademark pasta dish. I remember eatin g at Cricket's back then and trying their version and feeling proud because it was nowhere near as great as ours. Alas, Henry's a distant memory and I haven't done Crickets in many long moons. Mushrooms, okay, but I could live without tomatoes creeping in.

10 Oval Office
Cost $16.95
"Some like it hot! A spicy medley of fresh seafood with red onions, mushrooms and chili flakes. Served with grilled bread."

I snuck in and out of here once for a few martinis but I've never sat for a meal. No clue why not, since their version of SeaFett sounds like it has a firey new twist. I could get seriously into that.

Get Out and Vote!

Monday Music : Ringtones

Name: Ringtones
Hometown: Hayden, ID
Members: Brian Crain (Piano), Tom Taylor (Percussion)
Formed: 2007
Genre: Electroacoustic / Ambient / Live Electronics

Releases: "Ringtones" (2007)

Influences: John Williams, Yo-Yo Ma, Danny Elfman, Brian Eno, Phillip Glass, Moments of Clarity, Thievery Corporation, Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin, Cocteau Twins, Sigur Ros, Pink Floyd, Miles Davis, Dead can Dance

Sounds Like: "Sounds like Brian Crain and Tom Taylor decided to make an album..."
"Delicate.Delightful. And quite simply. Wonderful."
"I could just float back to Cd'A on your notes... take me away!"

Web Links: www.myspace.com/ringtonesmusic
Purchase: briancrain.com/newpages/ringtones.html

MP3 (Right-click then "Save As")
Time
Triangle

Video: Time

Longboard Burgers

Longboard Burgers
356 E. Appleway,
Coeur d’Alene, 769-7136.

Surfing On Waves of Burger Love

Sometimes the best and most interesting local cuisine is found in tucked away in obscure locations. Every town has those family-run neighborhood eateries that are hidden in plain sight, places you might drive right by all the time and yet never take the time to really acknowledge. One random day your gaze happens catch their sign advertising chicken gizzards or maybe someone finally recommends them to you: “Oh wow, I can’t believe you’ve never been in there; Harry and I stop in every Thursday, they’ve got the world’s best recipe for egg salad, you’ll love it so much you’ll die.” So you do, and it really is the world’s best egg salad but you don’t actually die and the place becomes a regular haunt and you wonder what the heck you were thinking, absentmindedly driving right by there so many times without visiting.

“Longboard Burgers” some wise person suggested to me earlier this year. “Best burgers in town, I’m not kidding you.” Others present nodded with agreement and delight.”Oh yeah, Longboard baby, they’re the bomb. Awesome fries, too.” I honestly hadn’t a clue. “Where? Is that here in town somewhere?” I asked. “Corner of 4th & Appleway, inside the A&D Gas Mart. They’ve got a drive-thru too.” Oh, really? I’d stopped there for some gas or a Jolt Cola every now and then and did vaguely remember seeing some kind of a food setup in the back, but it never seemed to be open so it never occupied any valuable brain space.

Pulling into the A&D Mart the next afternoon, I gave my forehead the V8 slap, at last noticing the massive and quite obvious “Longboard Burgers” signage on the exterior of the building. One sign listed their hours as 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and unfortunately, it was already after 5 o’clock. I returned a few days later at high noon, walking past the Hostess rack and up the automotive aisle to find a half-dozen hungry folks standing patiently to occupy one of the extremely limited barstools at one of the few two-seater tables or at the tiny lunch counter hidden away in the far reaches of the convenience store. The space is small but attractive, with a modest thatched bamboo surf-hut motif. I especially like the napkin-holders which were made using vintage surf-theme record sleeves. That first visit, I got my burger to-go, realizing that I’d either have to wait a while for a stool or eat my lunch whilst hovering over the motor oil display. It’s been the drive-thru for me ever since.

The merry folks who run the tiny Longboard grill seem very close-knit and they run a rollicking, well-oiled machine. If they ever find themselves out of work, they could certainly find employment in the entertainment industry. I can’t remember a time I’ve come through Longboard Burgers when they haven’t been cracking corny one-liners at each other and the customers, singing along loudly to the radio, or just dancing the mambo from the grill to the fryer to the cash register. Their fun attitude makes the entire sleepy mini-mart come alive with positive energy, and it’s even as perceptible in the drive-thru as it is in the dining area inside.

The burgers at Longboard are just as great, perhaps even better in certain ways as those served by other local joints that might rank higher on the history and legend scale. However, here they won’t give you dirty looks for wanting fries with your burger. In fact, while the ¼ pound burgers are unquestionably the main star at Longboard, the fries should be nominated for a foodie Oscar for their excellent supporting role. They’re the most authentically fresh and “potato-y” tasting thin-cut fries around, bringing to mind those found at Dick’s in Spokane, which is perhaps the highest of non-hydrogenated compliments.

To get them extra crispy and delicious, they most likely employ the “double dip” method, where they deep fry them to a crisp golden brown, let them cool awhile, then plunge them back into the oil to re-crisp before a sprinkling with salt and tossing a heaping pile into a classic red basket. At the drive-through, they hand over your fries and neatly-wrapped burger in a wobbly, overfilled open brown box that was never meant to hold such weighty cargo, and it takes both hands to grab it to avoid letting it plunge to a splattery death on the pavement below.

I discovered a new favorite Longboard Burger recently, the Mushroom Swiss. Thick-cut fresh mushrooms are suffocated by melted layers of Swiss and the optional-but-so- necessary grilled onions. The Double Double Burger is perhaps their trademark item, and includes two each of beef patties and cheese slices, as well as the usual crisp lettuce and thick tomato slice. The Blue Cheese Burger is majestically rich and the bacon on the Bacon Cheeseburger is actually crisp and not sad and soggy. Cost wise, all of these burgers fall under three bucks, which is less than a boring old Big Mac and of course Longboard Burgers come with at least 10 times more love and magic. A smattering of “dee-licious” Philly Cheesesteaks, Breaded Chicken Breast Sandwiches and Hot Dogs are made fresh to order as well and anything on the menu can be ordered smothered in their stupendous homemade chili.

I’ve been told by several wags “in the know” that Longboard Burgers are served “California-style” and that the concept was “stolen” from some old-school diner down in the Golden State. A bit of research turned up something vague about the use of Thousand Island dressing, but otherwise I can only come to the conclusion that “California-style” means “a thick and juicy hand-formed beef patty on a nice big bun layered with your choice of melted cheese and served with the freshest crisp lettuce and tomato in town.” In all honestly, these could be burgers done “Uranus-style.” When they’re this sublime and soul-satisfying, who cares?